In the Beginning...

In the Beginning...

...I purchased a subscription to the Official US Playstation Magazine. And it was good. But then there came a time when OPM was no more, and so my subscription was transferred to Electronic Gaming Monthly.

And it was also good.

But lo, time passed, and I found my subscription was about to lapse, so I went online and filled out a renewal. And I thought it was good.

And then the magazine shut down.

Then came much wailing and gnashing of teeth, and questions about what exactly was going to happen to my twenty dollars, which EGM had already charged to my credit card though there were but few days between my renewal and the announcement of the UGO buyout. But those questions went unanswered, and the twenty dollars were feared to be lost forever.

And there came a time when I went unto my mailbox, to discover what it had for me, and behold! it had a copy of Maxim. And I asked my mailbox Why do you give me this? And the mailbox was silent, because silence is its wisdom.

So I looked at the cover of Maxim, which featured boobies, and it was revealed unto me that my magazine subscription had been transferred once more, and I thought briefly that there must certainly be some very pissed-off female gamers standing at their mailboxes just that moment. And I felt a great sadness.

And so I knew that I had been visited by a great Evil, and that I must cast it hence, and so I went inside and attempted to locate a toll-free number inside the magazine, which featured even more boobies. And hark! the number was found, and so I took up my phone and I dialed the one, and the eight, and the zero, and the second zero, and all the numbers that followed, and spoke with a representative in Subscription Services.

And I explained unto her that I had subscribed to EGM, and had then been subscribed to Maxim, and that I did not want to be subscribed to Maxim, and she said We will mail you a refund, and I said Thank you, and then I cast the unwanted magazine down to live amongst the rest of the recycling, until such time as I would take it up and go down the street and place it in the appropriate bin for collection.

More time passed, and one day I went unto my mailbox again to discover what it had for me, and behold! it had a check for twenty-four dollars.

And there was much rejoicing.