Inside The Console: January 2009

Hello Muprhyness...

Man, I feel like I just did a post not that long ago about Murphy's Law affecting Inside The Console... weird, eh? Well, he's at it again, only this time I'm pretty sure he's actually out to get us. So there's a couple of things going on, and I just want you guys to be aware so that you don't think we're abandoning you or anything. Hey, we've been through a *lot* worse in the past.

Firstly, our video process is pretty streamlined as far as filming and creating the videos goes, and I'm happy about that. Unfortunately, as you may have heard, Google Video is going the way of the Dodo, and will no longer be accepting uploads before too long. YouTube still imposes a ten minute limit on uploaded videos, so that's currently not an option unless their limit is lifted.

So we're kinda stuck in limbo as far as actually hosting our videos goes. We'll be working on it, but right now that's what's going on. Also, while we're on the topic of videos, you may have noticed that there hasn't been one uploaded for a while. You can thank computer problems for that. GarageMovie or iBand was doing something dumb and causing problems with one of them, but the most recent video, 128 Part One, is all done and ready to go.

Only problem is it's sitting on my laptop which is in a repair shop. What was supposed to be a 24-hour turnaround has turned into at least a three-day waiting game. I'm selling (sold, actually) my MacBook, but before I hand it over to its new owner, I'd planned to replace the keyboard, wrist-wrest, and trackpad area. Early model white MacBooks had a severe discoloration problem that turned the wrist wrests and trackbad brown after several months of use. This entire area is apparently one part and can be replaced under warranty, so I figured it makes sense to replace that before I sell it seeing as it's still under warranty and it won't be nasty brown for the buyer.

FedEx thinks this is a bad idea. They managed to lose the one they were supposed to deliver on Monday, which got delayed until Tuesday because of an ice storm, but then was delayed into a black hole. The repair place confirmed that it's MIA and has ordered another one which they're "supposed" to see on Thursday, FedEx permitting. Once that's arrived, I can pick up my computer, get the video uploaded, wipe the machine clean and off it goes.

So that's that. Also, just to rub it in, an Ethernet cable which I ordered from Amazon over two weeks ago never showed up. This cable was going to allow me to set up The Goat (ITC's new video uploading/logo rendering computer) at a desk in our spare room instead of, y'know, on the floor in the studio. So I emailed those people yesterday and they're supposedly sending me another cable. I'd like to try and keep the blog as up-to-date as I can, but I don't like to do too much of that at work. So with my only "usable" computer at home being one sitting on the floor in a cold studio, the blog may be suffering a little bit until I can finally get my new lappy.

Stick with us, you know we aren't going anywhere.

-Phil

Dear Mario

As promised on the last show, here is the
letter that Evan, one of our listeners, gave us permission to post from his blog. It's pretty funny, I'd say. If you have any comments on it, send them to ITC. We'll make sure Evan gets them. Happy reading.

An Open Letter to My Wii.
Dear Cooper*,

It is difficult for me to write this letter, particularly under the baleful gaze of your unblinking yellow eye, but I have had some things on my mind for quite some time now, and I find that I cannot keep them bottled up any longer. Simply put, we need to Talk.

I remember when I finally brought you home after several months of calling Best Buy and walking down there every day, right when they opened, for about two months. I harassed the employees with my endless questions. "When do you think you'll get some more in?" I would ask, knowing full well those poor sons of bitches had been hearing that same question, day after day, for the better part of a year. But I didn't care, because even though I have worked in retail before, and know full well how annoying that shit is, I did it anyway.

For you.

I'm not mad about that, because while I am deeply ashamed of my behavior, it was my choice. I don't expect you to make that up to me, especially because once I actually got you home and started up Wii Sports, I knew our time together would be special. For starters, I've never gamed standing up. It was weird, but I was ready to try it. Then, when you asked me to make sure to leave enough room so that I wouldn't hit any objects or people while playing, I thought, "You know what? I like where this is going."

We went for several hours, Cooper, and I was actually sore the next day. That's never happened to me before.

We went on like this for about six months, and while I know looking back that I couldn't have actually been happy, I tried to convince myself that I was. In the meantime, more software was released, but I wasn't interested in most of it. I was waiting for some exclusive content, a Metroid or a Mario, or, hell, even a new F-Zero, but all you had to offer were a bunch of minigame collections and party games.

"Party games?" I said. "Is that what they think of me?"

Don't you understand, Cooper? I'm a gamer because I have trouble making friends, let alone maintaining relationships long enough to have people over for Mario Party. You seem to partly get this, considering your online capabilities, but in other areas you seem to woefully underestimate my needs. Why, for example, would I want to cook virtual food with you, when I could make some real food in my kitchen, and then eat it? And why should I play Resident Evil 4 with you, when I already have it for your predecessor?

Oh.

I didn't mean to bring it up here, but, yes...I've had Nintendo consoles before. You'd like them; they're a lot like you. They have incredibly good first-party content and a spotty relationship with third-party developers. But you never forget your first. And my first was a Nintendo. Don't worry about the APF TV Fun...it didn't count. I was young and stupid then, and all it had was four versions of Pong. I forgot all about it once I got an NES.

And I guess that leads me to my next question...why aren't you more like your relatives? Are you rebelling, or what? They were all about gameplay and fun, but you seem more interested in making me swing my arms around, or perform gestures with your remote which would make my grandmother faint if she saw me doing them. Why the obsession with making me do wanking motions? SNES never made me do wanking motions. I think, deep down, you enjoy making me look foolish.

This wouldn't bother me if I believed that despite all that, you really care what I think about you. But I see you out there, bowing and scraping for the favors of soccer moms and people with pensions, and I don't see where I fit into your future. It's like you have all these new friends, and suddenly you don't need me anymore. Our families have sat together many times over the past twenty years, and I guess those memories mean more to me than they do to you.

What I'm saying is that I think our relationship has been lopsided for a while, ever since you became the top-selling console. Sure, we had a lot of fun with Metroid Prime 3, Super Mario Galaxy, and Geometry Wars. But your software selection in stores is increasingly cluttered with titles which hold absolutely no interest for me, or for anyone I know. And still, you keep dangling things in front of me. "Mario Kart is coming!" people will shout, or, "Super Smash Bros. Brawl is fucking awesome!" But I'm not interested in those games...they remind me too much of N64.

"What about No More Heroes?" my friends continue. "It's really good. You should borrow it." And I suppose I could, Cooper, and I think I'd enjoy it, but what happens after I finish it? That's right...it will be back to the months of emptiness, waiting for them to bring back Pikmin or release Baseball Simulator 2000 on the Virtual Console.

We both know that's no basis for a relationship.

So I guess what I'm saying is that we need to take a break. I'll be spending a lot of time with the 360; I thought it was best that you hear it from me first. Maybe someday we'll hang out again.

But you've got a lot of growing up to do before then.

Sincerely,

Evan

*Cooper is the "nickname" I gave to the console during the setup process. This is the first opportunity I have had to use this purely cosmetic and nonsensical appellation.

Again, good stuff. Make sure you listen to the next show, where we'll talk about the concept of "Life" in games. Until then.

SHOCK
THE
WORLD!

Drew

Yes, Drew, there is a Santa Claus

So I was really hopeful this Christmas. I asked for an XBox 360. I told my wife that I wanted a 360 and that I wanted games for it, and if that’s all I got, well, SWEET, I got a 360. I know my wife; she would go through hell or high water to find something I want as bad as I wanted this. (Remind me to tell you the story of how she conspired with all the managers at the Toy Juggernaut where I work, my mother, and her mother to get me my Wii the first year they were out.) I’ve been asking for this thing for nearly two years with nothing to show for it. Two anniversaries have come and gone; no XBox. Birthdays come and gone with no 360. And here we were at another Christmas and I was waiting patiently, knowing I would get my 360.
Finally, Christmas Day arrived. Mind you, I knew we didn’t have a ton of money for Christmas this year. Hell, no one really did. But I knew my lovely wife, and she would come through. What did I get? Slippers. FUCKING SLIPPERS! (Comfy slippers, mind you, but still.) Well, that’s not all, I also got underwear. “What?” I though, “that’s it?” “We’ll get more for Christmas,” she told me, “We’ll just wait for your next check.”
“Awesome,” I think to myself, “she’s just waiting for an extra little bit of cash, I knew she’d come through.” About a week later, we go shopping again. I spend the entire day expecting her to sneak away for a while, or to suddenly be extremely secretive. Well, that doesn’t happen. So I began yet another new year with no XBox 360.
Frustrated, I declare that I will get a 360 with our tax returns, as soon as we take care of a few other bills. Wait, that was the plan last year, and obviously, we know haw that worked out. So, I had resigned myself to wait at least 6 more months for my ever elusive 360. I moved on. I found games to play for my Wii and for my PS2. And I was content.
All the while, Christmas with my in-laws had been pushed back a couple of times. Schedules didn’t align, emergencies came up, weather was bad, whatever. You name it, it probably happened to push back celebrating the holidays with my in-laws. Finally, we all get together (well, almost, but that’s another story). As we sit down to open presents, my Mother-in-law says “There’s one big box we’ll save for the end.” This is something I don’t think much about, as I am helping Mini-me unwrap his third mountain of Christmas presents (by the way, Clip-Os are awesome!). As we unwrap, I get a copy of Harry Potter book 6 from my MIA sister-in-law (btw, thanks Chel, that round out the collection) and a beard and moustache trimmer from my mother and father-in-law, which I had needed, anyway. As I’m playing with Lil’ Drew, I hear, “Oh year, there’s one more!” I look up and my wife is handing me a box wrapped in red and white striped paper. As I take it, I think, “This is kinda heavy. About as heavy as a. . . “ Now I know how heavy a 360 box is. I mean I sell them for a living (well, that and other stuff). I set the box down and, before I can move, Lil’ Drew is on it, reaching for more paper to tear. He grabs one spot, I grab another, and as we pull, the first thing I see is “XBox 360 wireless controller included. I freeze, absolutely in shock. This does not deter my little padwan, for he continues to tear at paper like it's going out of style. As my awe subsides, I’m almost frantic, ripping of the remaining paper to reveal an XBox 360 Arcade, with Sonic Superstars included.
As it turns out, nearly everyone knew this was happening, including my two co conspiring co-hosts and their wives. I didn’t get any games for Christmas, but I went out and picked up Mass Effect for $20 (really, it’s already sold that much?). I also don’t have a hard drive yet, but that’s coming. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers. On top of which, whatever, I got my XBox. If anyone ever tells you there is no Santa Clause, tell them I said to kiss your ass and mine, too. He may show up late on occasion, and he may be live in the same house, steal your clothes and actually be female, but Santa exists, and this year, he delivered.

SHOCK
THE
WORLD!

Drew

New Scavenger Hunt

I've mentioned it on one or two episodes recently, but I've either been too busy (or lazy) to get the darn thing posted. So here, without further adieu, is my latest and greatest scavenger hunt:

1. Find Nintendo's only system that required all software to have an option to automatically pause the game every 15 to 30 minutes.

2. On Wikipedia's list of games for this system, find the only game not released in Japan that is also not based on a movie.

3. Find the name of a gaming company that fits the following criteria: The second letter of the company's name is the only vowel to appear two times in the answer to step #2, and the fourth letter of the company's name is the only vowel that does not appear in the answer to step #2.

4. Find the home console that this company released in the same year that the system from step #1 was released.

5. Two games for this system (each is part of a series) have titles that contain the predominant word in Dennis Rodman's nickname. Find the one of these two games that is a sequel.

6. There is a sidekick in this game who, according to Wikipedia, communicates with only two types of noises. Find these noises.

7. Taking all of the vowels from these two noises, in order, will give you the symbol for an element on the Periodic Table. Find the atomic number of this element.

8. There was another home console released in the same year used in step #4. On Wikipedia's list of games for this system, find the game who's external link number (looks like "[100]" ) is the atomic number from step #7 plus one. Given the example, this would be link [101].

9. On GameSpot's list of Player Reviews for this game, find the username of the person who submitted the oldest review that also references the unused series of games from step #5. Several Player Reviews reference this series of games, so be sure to find the username of the person who submitted the oldest one.

10. This username contains one of the two vowels not yet used on this scavenger hunt. Determine this vowel, and convert it to it's alphabetical placement value. A = 1, B = 2, etc. Do this for every occurence of the vowel in the username, and total it all up.

11. Take the only vowel not yet used in this scavenger hunt, and convert it to a number like in step #10. Add this value to the total you got after completing step #10.

12. You need two numbers for this step. One will be one of the single digits from step #11's answer. If the total is 87, this number would be either 8 or 7. Call this number X. The other will be the total you get when you add up all the single digits in step #11's answer, which will end up being a single digit answer. An example would be if the total was 26, this number would be 2 + 6, = 8. Call this number Y.

13. Find the only videogame system ever released whose name contains both X and Y.

14. On this console, using Wikipedia's list of its games as your guide, find the (Y-1)th game to come out in the Xth month in the year ( ( Y / X ) * ( 10 ^ X ) ) + Y in North America.

15. This game has several major cities that can be visited, but only one of these cities has a vowel that occurs back-to-back in its name. If the city were named Woot, that would fit the bill. Find this city.

16. Find the character who lives in this city whose first and last names both begin with the same vowel.

17. On IGN's PS3 reviews, find the game whose score is the same percentage as the character's health from the previous step, and whose last letter in the name is the same as the vowel from the previous step. If the character's health were 50, you'd be looking for a review score of 50% or 5.0, and whose last letter in the name of the game is the same as the vowel from the previous step.

18. Email to us the Closing Comments section of the review.

Drew and the Amazing Technicolor Wii Game

Many things I enjoy I tend to come across randomly. A good percentage of the books in my collection are ones that I happened to like the cover. Some of my CDs are from artist that I randomly heard while channel surfing the radio. Games are the same way. This is exactly the case with De Blob.
If you haven’t heard of it, I’ll give you a quick rundown without spoiling it. Basically, you are De Blob, a member of the Color Underground, and your job is to restore color to the world and free the people enslaved by the evil Inkt Corp. You do so by painting buildings, trees, people, etc. different colors, which you can mix and match throughout the levels.
When I first saw this game, I thought “this looks kind of cool; I think I’ll try it.” And I was right; it was a pretty good game. As I played, though, I began to see more into it. I realized that this game does what I call tricking you into learning. Let me explain.
Many people, kids and adults alike, are resistant to learning things when they don’t have to. Ok, maybe not everyone I hang out with, but I’ve met my fair share, and I’m sure you have, too. Tricking you into learning is when you do something you enjoy, and, because of the nature of that item, you learn stuff. I experienced this a lot when I was younger. I used to watch nature shows because I enjoyed watching the animals. Now I know that hippos only eat plants, but they will kill a man if they get too close, and that penguins mate for life. But I digress. . .
The things De Blob teaches are far simpler: colors. The only colors that are available are red, yellow, and blue. There are many things you would have to paint those colors. However, there are also things that have to be painted green, purple, orange, or brown, and those you won’t find just laying around. This is when you mix colors. Sure, the tutorial will tell you in the beginning that yellow and blue make green (or something like that), but you’ve got to remember that late into the game when you’ve had to redo a level a couple of times because you show up in a spot that has to be green when you are purple and you’ve got about 60 seconds to hunt down the right color combo and have enough color points to finish your mission. It’s pretty cool, and down right addictive.
There is also an appreciation for music in this game. You can have jazz, salsa, hip-hop, or a combination of those and others playing in the background. There was more that one occasion when Lil’ Drew decided to dance to the music in daddy’s game. Not only was the music part cool, but my kid is cute when he dances. (Get off my back, I can be a proud poppa if I want.)
Bottom line, De Blob is a cool game. If you’re looking for a new game, looking for something for your kid/ nephew/ cousin/ self to maybe learn a thing or two while you play, or if you just want an excuse to use your Wii, pick up De Blob and paint yourself silly. Until next time.

SHOCK
THE
WORLD!

Drew

Hello, Murphy

Pretty sure Murphy's Law is in full effect this week. Not only did we get some sort of static on our microphones that we can't seem to get rid of, but our first run at #127 crapped out on us after three minutes. After that, it seemed that all went well, until I tried to export our podcast to iTunes with the new chapters we've been using. Of course, that didn't work either.

So every time I tried to export the podcast with the chapter markers intact, which should (in theory) allow you to skip past the drinking game and candle-lighting if you so choose, GarageBand would totally crap out on me. Completely lock up. So ultimately I ended up using a regular ol' MP3 file like we used to.

The good news is that we successfully recorded the first and second halves of #127, so they're ready to go. This gives me two weeks to iron out the kinks before our next taping. Also, The Goat, which is the name of my new computer, is up and running. So look for some fancy new intro video animations coming in the next several weeks. It should let us upload our video files without a problem too, so cross your fingers on that.

Alright, I'm off to go fight SA-X. See y'all later.

-Phil

The New Thing

So one of our big goals for 2009 is for us to be more active on the blog. Give you something to look at during the week and all. So...

We never really talked much with you guys about our Christmas hauls. So my wife being the joy that she is hooked me back up with a PS2. So this goes down as my 3rd PS2 to date. The thing that shocked me the most about the whole gift was the size of the damn thing. My first PS2 was the original system problem. Most of you probably have at least heard about the "Disc Read Error" fiasco with the first 3 or so runs of PS2's. That fiasco made the RRoD look like nothing. That thing was beefy though. The original PS2 had so much size to it. The second one I had was a Network Adapter version. The thing got even bigger. Now I pull this new one out of the box and it has all of the features at maybe a third of the size. I just don't understand how this works. Have we really moved so far in our technology over that amount of time?

If so how come the PS2 memory card has NEVER changed in size?

For you long time listeners you are aware of our belief in an online media conspiracy against ITC. Yet again this has occured. Shortly after we began our 2008 Awards, the wonderful site www.escapistmagazine.com, had a similar posting ran. Zero Punctuation, one of the greatest weekly video reviews, posted their 2008 annual awards. Definately worth going over and giving them a look see. Take a look at some past episodes as well if you get a chance between our episodes.

-J

You said you want a Revolution?

We absolutely could not wait. Nintendo said they were creating a next-gen system that would be “a Revolution.” In fact, that’s what we started calling it, “The Nintendo Revolution.” We didn’t know much else, but we knew it would change the face of gaming as we knew it then. And you know what. We were absolutely right.
What would eventually be christened “The Nintendo Wii” has been an anomaly of sorts in the video game world. The sales are through the roof, and have been for about two and a half years. Many people who haven’t played a game in years, or in some cases ever, are rushing to the store to pick one up. Well, that is assuming that their local retailer(s) has them in stock at all. Never before has there been a gaming console this difficult to get your hands on this far into its life cycle. It’s simply insane.
And what about the gamers themselves? Those fresh to the fold say the Wii is the greatest thing ever. The more ingrained gamers & fanboys say that the company of their childhood has left them standing in the cold, asking for more.
The Wii has even spawned copycats. “How do you copycat a video game console without getting sued?” you ask. Well, we will explore all of these topics and more on the next episode of Inside the Console: The Wii effect.
To help us deep-dive into this subject, we’ve got a few questions we’d like you to answer for us.
1. Do you have a Wii?
2. If so, how often do you play it?
3. Have you ever played co-op with someone on line with your Wii?
4. Do you feel that there are games out there for the “core gamer” or is there just “shovel-ware” available?
5. If you own a Wii, do you regret buying it and why?

And while you’re answering questions, please help us decide the tie-breakers in our 2008 ITC awards. There are only a few, and there on the left side of your screen (trust me, I looked). With that, on behalf of Phil and John, welcome to season 4 of ITC!

Drew

Season (Nintendo Sixty) Fooooooooour!

It's crazy that we've been doing this podcast for *three years* now, but more than that, it's AWESOME! We love all you guys who've stuck with us over the years during all of our technical problems and boring episodes, you're the reason we do this show and you're the reason we're going to keep doing the show for a long time to come. Thank you, all of you, for sticking with us and listening to (as well as hopefully enjoying) our podcast.

On a technical note, we're supposed to be doing video episodes now, but that's currently on hold until I get another computer. We mentioned it briefly on #126 Part two, but if you want to know a little bit more about what's going on, here's the scoop: YouTube has a ten minute length limit for their video uploads, unless it's a much older video, which is why the videos you've seen so far have been on Google Video. No problem, except that our final video file sizes for each episode tend to be between one and two *gigs*, depending on the quality I go with.

Google's website only lets you upload videos smaller than 100MB, but they provide a desktop application for larger file sizes. No problem, except every single time I've tried to use it on my Mac, it's crapped out. Every time. I had a virtual XP machine that I was using for doing our logo rendering, and I was able to use that to upload one of the videos, but this machine managed to disappear while I was moving files back and forth between my laptop and our Mac Mini. My only other option is to upload the files while I'm at work, and while I do have a lenient job, I'm not about to use that kind of upstream on their payroll, it's out of the question.

So, a friend of mine from work is building me a PC from spare parts he has at home, and once I have that, I will use it as a dedicated rendering box and uploading box. The video episodes are coming, make no mistake about that, but it might take us another week or so before everything is ironed out and ready to go. At that point though, as we mentioned on the show, we will be using *three* computers for the production of each show. My laptop records our audio, a Mac Mini records the video (which I sync up later on) and my new(ish?) PC will upload the final video files.

There you go. Again, thanks to all of you for sticking with us, and we hope to continue to put on good, entertaining video game discussion for a long time to come.

-Phil