Inside The Console

Featured Discussion: Valve and Changing the World

2010-03-15T08:54:00.006-05:00

I have said many times that I am a PC gamer but really, I should be saying I am now a Valve gamer, and the definitive versions of their games happen to be on the PC; everything else is just overlap. One might even go so far to say that I’m a fanboy, but an absolutely necessary part of being a Valve devotee is complaining very loudly when they make any sort of misstep, they listen to and even encourage such behavior, such feedback from the community strongly influences updates for their games. Valve also freely gives away their SDK (to anyone that buys one of their Source based games) and portions of their games’ source code so that if someone has a great idea for a mod, they can make it; if Valve particularly likes your mod (Team Fortress, Counter-Strike, Garry’s Mod) they will hire you and make your mod into a retail game. This does have actual bearing on consoles as Valve has fully supported the Xbox 360 with their last two games, Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 step for step with the PC version so they seem to be a genuine console developer now. The reason I am talking about Valve so much is not just because I adore their games and how they support them post-release (I do) but because they are one of the few (only, as far as I can tell) developers that are expanding their games and services onto more platforms, and those platforms are equal in their eyes, you don’t own TF2 for PC, you own TF2. What brought this thought was this piece of news:
[Link], shocking, no?

[This whole discussion starter will be about Valve and what they’re doing, other developers
like Epic and Blizzard are sort of heading in this direction but to go into detail about all of them
would be tiresome and boring, so I’ll stick with Valve.]
Now, what makes Valve so special in this regard? The difference is a matter of philosophy. A
direct counter example to Valve would be Nintendo, they are wildly successful but go about making
their games in a different manner, they, the company itself, and no one else, has complete control
over their products. Such a complete handle on how the game is being made is why many of their
games are considered masterpieces of game design; you would never see something like Super
Mario Bros. 3 or Super Metroid out of Valve they don’t make game with such tight authorship Valve
has come to realize that they can’t really compete with someone like Nintendo at Nintendo’s game.
Compare the two developer’s seminal titles, Super Mario Bros. and Hλlf- Life (to be extra proper),
one more or less perfected how to jump and go right in a video game while the other was a sort of
nebulous experiment in what could be done with a totally uninterrupted first person viewpoint and
atmosphere; both games were very well made and influential, but for different reasons. The
difference in background of the two companies should be noted, Nintendo grew out of a toy
company while Valve was born out of bored former Microsoft developers. It is also important to
notice how the companies treat their games after release, once a Nintendo game hits the shelf,
unless there is a fatal error in the game code, the game is done with, while Valve games are never
really done being developed, they are continually updated. Both ways of making games are valid but
there is so far Nintendo’s way can go, they will still make great games that will expound on what a
game can be but I think that they will still be isolated games for a specific piece of hardware or
system. The way Valve is developing their games, as total entertainment experiences, I think has
more potential in the future.

Team Fortress 2 is the game furthest along in this development of their games as
experiences, it has the Meet the Team videos, comics, and regular free content updates, it isn’t just
a game anymore, the community has embraced it so much that they more or less run the game
now, a good portion of the now official maps were made by the community, many of the ideas for
items came from the community as well. This just goes to show that multilayer games live and die
by the communities built around them. The reason why the Xbox 360 version is nowhere near as
developed as the PC version (Valve didn’t handle the PS3 one) is the limits of the hardware and the
form they released the game in. Per Microsoft’s rules, a company can only do so much for freely for
their games before they have to start charging for it, and Valve does not want to do that,
compounded with the fact that the PC version is well over the memory limit for 360 games. It is the
system and infrastructure that is holding them back in that case and they have to abide by those
rules for the game to be on the console. You can see the planning that went into Left 4 Dead 1 and
2 to make them more compatible with the 360, TF2 was not like that from the very beginning; it is
and always has been a PC game at heart.

The Mac just seems like a natural extension to that idea, of selling the consumers the game
once and then continually supporting them across all platforms (all updates for Left 4 Dead 1 and 2
have hit simultaneously on PC and 360) equally. It is probably a similar amount of effort to port a
game from PC to Mac as it is to the 360, the games even have an OpenGL mode already in them. In
fact, Valve seems to be turning away from Microsoft, the UI beta for Steam that they’re running
(what it will look like on Mac OS) now runs on Webkit (Google Chrome and Safari); the old one was
based on Internet Explorer. It also seems like Valve is just doing what Microsoft wants to do but
better, and with less money spent. The Games for Windows Live service has promised essentially
what Steam is doing, but has not delivered and includes many niggling issues that Steam does not.
It makes sense then that Steam is far and away the most popular avenue for digital distribution of
PC games and perhaps in the near future, Mac games. Valve only seems to have bigger and bigger
plans for their service; they may take it to some very exciting places.

The previous 1000 words of text serve as background for the real issue up for discussion
here, the idea that the developers and manufacturers of the video game industry will tend towards a
more interconnected idea of gaming, that your save data will be stored in a remote sever and you
can access it and all of you preferences (Steam cloud) from any device that can play the game. All of
this is hypothetical, really only Valve is taking any serious strides towards this idea, everyone else is
making baby steps, and a whole industry does not Valve make. It remains to be seen if at all
something like this will occur. I could be wrong. I hope I’m not, but I could be, such a prospect is
very exciting regardless. I just hope that progress doesn’t get mired in misguided corporate policy.
Here’s another article about this topic: [Link]. The fake Apple ads Valve sent out are great too.
So to sum it up, what do you think about games being interconnected across all platforms?

-Timothy Roy Sundberg

Featured Discussion: Does Nintendo Care?

2010-02-22T02:15:00.001-06:00

A week ago I got a message on Facebook the other day from my cousin Nick. He wanted to know if we could hook up our Wiis to play some online games. I don't know too many people who play online games on the Wii, so I thought it was a great idea. Since then it has been an absolute mess to try and connect our Wiis online. I had to find my console's friend code number thing, and send it to Nick over email. He had to do the same for me, and after we had both punched our Wii numbers in we wanted to get down to some game playing. Trouble is, he has several games but none are online enabled. I have a few games, but only one, Mario Kart, is online enabled. Even if he did have Mario Kart, we would have to exchange another series of friend codes, and then we would be able to play but not chat or interact in any way except if we both called each other on the phone while we played. In short, Nintendo's online strategy is a disaster from top to bottom.

But I'm not here to complain about Nintendo's online strategy, as that has been covered for years in the gaming press. Rather, I am using it as an example that speaks to a larger problem. In the current issue of Game Informer, the "Good/Bad/Ugly" section has some information from Ubisoft that, once upon a time, would have had me worried. From the article:

"Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot says the company is steering its ship away from the Wii and concentrating on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. Guillemot called those two consoles the ones that are 'expected to experience sustained sales growth in games for gamers in calendar 2010.'"

In short, Ubisoft is ditching Nintendo in favor of systems that are not only more financially viable, but better for gamers. During my Nintendo apologist days I would have cried foul, pointing to the possibilities of the Wii, the huge installed user base, and the unique motion-control possibilities of the system. But in the years since I purchased my Wii, and especially in the months since I have owned an Xbox 360, I see moments like this as beautiful schadenfreude. Nintendo is a victim of not only their own success, but their own staunch lack of innovation. In short, the Wii's lack of appeal for Ubisoft and other developers, middling sales numbers in Japan, and lackluster appeal among "gamers" is Nintendo's own fault, and I'm actually kind of glad it's all happening.

Nintendo has made some frustratingly boneheaded decisions about the Wii ever since its inception: a poorly-implemented "channel" system that does not scale very well, a controller that is severely lacking in buttons, motion control that should have been as good as Wii Motion Plus, ridiculous online support, the absence of DVD playback, the lack of High Definition a/v output, a paltry, abysmal, teeny tiny half gigabyte of internal storage, no built-in ethernet port…the list goes on. In short, Nintendo built a system that was decent for its time but short sighted and the very opposite of future-proof.

But these wrongs aren't necessarily worthy of condemnation on their own. It's Nintendo's response to these issues over the years that has consistently shown me they just don't care, and are content to let their system with its mountains of shovelware stand on its own. Consider Reggie's statement at the 2007 E3 press conference with regard to online gaming: "Will Nintendo ever get serious about online gaming?" Reggie's answer: "What if they already did, and we just didn't notice?" In essence, Nintendo had the gall to claim that their own paltry online experience consisting of labyrinthine friend codes, no persistent gamertags, no community, no chat, no parties, and virtually no fun at all was on par with Xbox Live and PSN.

Sorry Nintendo, I'm just not buying it. And when I see sales numbers slipping I think back to moments like this that show me Nintendo continues to try to justify their console's existence rather than seek to improve the Wii. While Sony and Microsoft are scrambling to provide cutting-edge, high-definition, next-generation entertainment experiences, Nintendo is content to give us the Wii Zapper, Wii Motion Plus, a "Vitality Sensor", and still no updates or expansions to the channel system, Mii creation options, or online. It's not that Nintendo is incapable of righting some of these wrongs through firmware updates or console expansions--it's that they refuse to acknowledge that their broken system even needs fixing.

-Simon

Trivia: It's In The Fog

2010-02-22T02:13:00.000-06:00

This one takes us back to the good old days of the N64 again, to a game that was one of my personal favorites at the time. Though nearly impossible, in fact I never beat the game without cheat codes, launching dead bodies in the air with a grenade launcher was a great time.

Don't know what I'm talking about? It's the original Turok: The Dinosaur Hunter. The game's draw-distance may have been an abysmal ten feet or so, with whatever planet the game took place on covered in perpetual fog, and not much of a storyline to speak of, the game was simply a blast to play and explore.

What we want to know is this: What was the name of the final weapon in the game - the weapon that, much like the Triforce, you collected a piece of on each of the levels? Answer it correctly and you're up for something awesome from the ITC Swag Bin!

Featured Discussion: Gaming Covered Under the ADA?

2010-02-15T02:15:00.001-06:00

So in preparation for my first featured post I did all sorts of research. Yet no matter how much I looked I couldn’t find anywhere in either the original ADA or any of its more recent iterations that covered gaming. Lots of stuff about ramps, buildings, hiring practices… But nothing about gaming.

Okay so maybe I should start a little farther back. Recently in anticipation of Mass Effect 2 I dived hard into Mass Effect 1 to make sure I’d have a nice complete Sheppard to transfer in to the new game. Now I should preface that this ability is the coolest most functional concept I have ever seen. The concept of a fully fleshed out character that grows through the series based on MY decisions is great. Mass Effect was a great 3^rd person sci-fi shooter RPG. Now the fact that RPG is capitalized has nothing to and everything to do with the importance of that word in the sentence. Like all RPG’s Mass Effect 1 had an in depth inventory system, impressive squad control and customization, and an extensive experience system with squad abilities and powers. Mass Effect 2 on the other hand is best described as a third person shooter rpg. Without me going into a whole lot of detail (others have already done that) the RPG element of the first game takes a ridiculous back seat. The reasoning for this is questionable considering how popular the first game was. It is not often that a hugely successful game, the first of an announced three part series, completely changes the core of its game play. Yet a quick look at the interviews with the game developers and even the manual for the game quickly discovers why. The manual when describing some of the key differences between 1 and 2 uses the phrase “accessible”. These changes were made to make the game more accessible.

Now I already know I’m going to hear things like: what does it matter if it is fun, what about the conversation system that didn’t change (i.e. Penny Arcade’s justification), or why does it even matter? More and more every day we see this concept infecting games across the gaming world. Starting with the Wii as a whole developers and console manufacturers have made the decision that the traditional gamer alone is not enough to sustain their world. Maybe this is due to the hardships of the economy, the rising cost of development, or just plain greed. Games are doing anything and everything to become more mainstream. In some cases this means simplifying the games. I think very few would argue that the difficulty of New Super Mario Bros. Wii was anywhere near as difficult as past entries in the series. The same could be said for many series out there. Even a game such as Madden has made efforts to make their game “easier” for the casual gamer. In the case of Madden and many sports games it is through the creation of an entire new game mode where many of the standard controls and game play elements are simplified or eliminated in order to keep a novice gamer on a similar level to an expert. This is similar to the “bubble boy” concept in the previously mentioned Mario Bros. entry. And in cases like Mass Effect it means rewriting the rules as to what defines an entire genre. Some would applaud the elimination of complicated inventories and squad maintenance and an extreme simplification of character skill maintenance. (Mass Effect 2 for example drops the number of skill per character from close to 15 per character to 5.) I disagree. This “accessibility” craze does no one good.

Gamers are a special group. Just like any other group of people that are involved in a hobby or special skill we enjoy being able to handle something that others can’t. It helps to make us feel special. The ability to do something that someone else can’t not only makes us gamers, but adds to our sense of pride. Even within the “gamer” tag we separate ourselves based on the genres we can play and play well. One of the things that disturbs me the most about this is best described with a line from Disney/Pixar’s The Incredibles. When the villain is describing his reason for killing off all superheroes he says, “When everyone’s super, no one will be!” The ADA is all about providing equal opportunities to people with disadvantages. Now I know that it isn’t exactly the most direct comparison and I will probably get ripped for making the comparison, but what is happening to gaming should follow that example better. For years we had the ability to change difficulty levels as a way of trying to ease things and give those who wanted to try a chance without eliminating the challenge for those who need it. Now we live in a world where. Instead now we are forced to play something easier to make everyone feel like they can be a part of it.

Unfortunately I don’t see a change to this in the future. Society as a whole is headed in the same direction. School courses are made easier, children are coddled to make them feel better instead of being disciplined or “failed”, and making someone feel good is more important than true success and failure. The change was inevitable I guess. All media seems to suffer from this as they cater to the lowest common denominator. Mass produced bands, movies changed from source material to cater to the “it” crowd, and creative television eliminated due to a lack of mass appeal. It’s unfortunate that gaming is headed in the same direction.

-John

Retro: Controllers in the Present

2010-02-15T02:14:00.000-06:00

Continuing our greatest series of all time is the second part in our three-part set of episodes on the evolution of controllers. John and I, coupled with some of our first-ever voicemails, had a great discussion on the then-current generation of controllers.
I think, going back four to six years, the modern day gaming controllers were coming into their own. There were a few controllers that really defined the future of controllers, those being the SNES controller and the original Playstation controller.

On the second part of this series was where we really started to realize that ergonomics began to play a huge role in the development of a console's controller. Although, John will still say that there's no explanation whatsoever for the three-pronged oddity that is the N64 controller, unless Miyamoto had a dream where every human was three-handed, and Nintendo decided to run with it...

If you're still around, thanks again to the great fans back then who contributed to this great set of shows.

-Phil

Trivia: Monsters Inc.

2010-02-15T02:13:00.000-06:00

So it may not be completely related to gaming, but who doesn't love some Pixar? My lovely wife graced me with an Xbox Live subscription, and we immediately used it to watch Monsters Inc. thanks to Netflix.
So your trivia for this week is this: In what "bay" does Sully work? Each scarer has a specific door station to which their doors are delivered, and they are all numbered with a letter-number combo. What is Sully's?

For last week's trivia, we've got two winners: Jim and Jess! Each one will get a prize for their correct answers of Simon, and because he doesn't drink. Thanks guys! We'll pick out some prizes for you from the bin.

Candle: Red Octane

2010-02-15T02:12:00.000-06:00

It was announced this past week by Activision that they closed Red Octane, the studio responsible for the original Guitar Hero concept. Among other closings and layoffs, most of the staff at Red Octane has been let go.
This stems mostly from Activision wanting to cut down on their number of Guitar Hero SKUs coming out this year. As a gamer, I'm happy that they're finally starting to cut back on polluting the franchise further and maybe, just maybe, finding ways to genuinely push it forward. Unfortunately this involves cutting out the people originally responsible for the now multi-million dollar franchise.

Drinking Game: Livewire

2010-02-15T02:11:00.000-06:00

John comes through with flying colors yet again in his quest to mix Mountain Dew and booze in every possible way. This week we're using the delicious Livewire variety for our Alcoholic Drink of the Week.

Alcoholic Style

Coco-Pop

One 20oz bottle of Mountain Dew Livewire

Two shots Bacardi Coco Rum

Mix the two ingredients in a cup and stir with a fork. Enjoy!

Featured Discussion: The Future of the Handheld

2010-02-08T02:15:00.003-06:00

After last week's discussion on the iPad and how it may impact portable gaming, I felt that a talk about the future of portable gaming as a whole needed to happen. Ever since the iPhone came out coming up on three years ago, followed by the App Store one year later, the talks and rumors have gone so far as to claim that the iPhone platform is the future and that Apple is going to enter the gaming arena themselves. I think this is a little far-fetched, but let's take a look at the current state of the handheld, and imagine what the future might hold.
It seems to me that by this time in the lifecycle of handheld gaming, there should be rumors, if not announcements, of "next-generation" hardware. It has now been more than five years since the launch of the original Nintendo DS. Although we may be technically on the third revision of the system, the DS itself has remained largely unchanged.

After a year and a half, the first revision was released in the form of the DS Lite. This was the system that many critics said was what the original DS should have been, as far as its form-factor and screen quality was concerned. Once the DS Lite came about, it was a staggering three years before the next update to the hardware, the DSi. Finally, not more than a year after that, we're getting the DSi XL later this year.

We are only one month away from the PSP having been available for five years also. After two and a half years, Sony updated the PSP's form factor and gave us the PSP Slim. Just as with the DS, many people claim that this, its second iteration, was far superior to the original launch hardware. One year later, Sony tweaked the hardware with an improved screen and a few other improvements with the PSP-3000. One year after that, we were graced with the confusing PSP Go.

Now think about this: Essentially, we've been playing our portable games on the same systems that we were five years ago. In the world of gaming, that seems like an awfully long time, and yet, there seems to be nothing new on the horizon. The reason I find this so curious is because it doesn't seem to bother anybody. Typically at this point in the game, we'd all be pushing for new systems with some newfangled technology or faster processors or what have you.

I've got a DS Lite and I've used a PSP, and they're both excellent systems and, to me, they don't feel dated at all. This is mostly because the outsides have been consistently updated to keep them fresh, but the insides really haven't changed that much. So the question becomes: what's next?

I think two things are happening right now. The first is that we're seeing "the next" technological push for portable gaming coming from, to an extent, outside portable gaming. I'm talking about touchscreen technology. Yes, the Nintendo DS was using this five years ago, about the time that Verizon should have been saying "yes" to Apple's top-secret proposal, instead of saying "nah, let AT&T have it." But partly because of the iPhone and the iPod Touch, touchscreens have become truly ubiquitous.

Every new cellphone has a touchscreen, the DS has a touchscreen, some people think the PSP could have a touchscreen, but is this really the future of handheld gaming? As a gamer, I don't think that touchscreens will truly replace anything. The DS shows that they can certainly compliment and enhance a portable gaming experience, but they can't completely replace the systems, and buttons, that we're so used to.

So where does that leave us? Nintendo's next DS is an odd one, being nothing but a much larger version of their current hardware. I believe Nintendo's Satoru Iwata said one of the advantages of the bigger screens are so that multiple people can watch the game at the same time, but that's hardly any kind of evolution. The PSP Go isn't selling at all, and there are rumors of a relaunch. Sony seems to think that digital downloads are the future, but its obvious that a digital-only system just isn't going to cut it right now.

I just don't know what we'll see next. Nintendo could continue to ride the DS cash cow for several more years without batting an eye, and the PSP has certainly carved itself a nice chunk of the marketplace, and those who have them are generally very satisfied with them. Anyone who has been with ITC for a while knows that my favorite portable system is the GameBoy Micro, a "slim" update to a system whose technology is nine years old, and the games I play on it are great.

This column doesn't really have an end, because I don't know what it would be. I'm very curious to see what the other ITC'ers think about the future of handheld gaming. What do you guys want to see? Those of us who have DS's and PSP's, how satisfied are we with them and do we see a need for something new?

Let's talk about it.

-Phil

Retro: Controllers in the Past

2010-02-08T02:14:00.000-06:00

When Fil and I set out to do this podcast oh so many years ago we didn't really know what to expect. Honestly I think either of us would have been shocked if it took off and became huge. The more we got going though the more we thought it could be good. This episode was probably the first that really made us sit up and think.

We knew that an episode about controllers would take a bit, but I don't think we knew it was going to be as popular, or game changing, as this one was. The first in what became a three-part episode (we planned for two parts, but that failed miserably.) was also the first in our "Evolution of..." episodes. I still to this day love that phrase that became such a part of what ITC is, was, and will be. As expected we started from the beginnings of controllers and went through to the 3-Pronged Controller from Hell. This episode had maybe some of our best discussion at any point in the podcast and inspired some of our first good fan feedback. It was also the first episode where we started to lean just a little too much on Wikipedia. I'm not sure you could really blame us since for a good portion of this we were talking out or ass. Neither one of us had a system prior to an NES. But when you throw in the little knowledge we did have and the benefits of The Internet's Encyclopedia, we put together the start of a great series.

Looking back to this episode I couldn't find much new to add these years later. One of the funny parts about informative episodes is that the information doesn't change. I still marvel to this day at how much controllers evolved in that first generation of consoles. In this small time frame we went from the twisty knobs that were so central to the Ataris and Colecovisions of the world and the joysticks of the arcades to the D-pads and buttons that Nintendo used to change the world. (Just as a side note, Ataris won't pass spell check, but d-pad will? Seriously?) It amazes me that the knob didn't fight at all to stay in vogue. It's also surprising to me that joysticks didn't become the default. The limitations of knobs is fairly obvious yes, but the d-pad was completely new. The joystick was around and translated so easily. Looking at it from our perspective today it is the prominent control method for home consoles yet again, but was discarded form an entire set of generations. Yes you could buy "premium" controllers for most of these systems that used joysticks, and most people would argue provided superior control despite being bulky, but you would pay an arm and a leg.

I hope you all go back and actually listen to this classic. Many of you still tell us that this was one of our best ever series of episodes. It's hard to disagree.

-John

Trivia: Drinks All Around

2010-02-08T02:13:00.000-06:00

There's still a ton of stuff in the ITC Swag Bin for us to give away, so we're going for an easier trivia this week. I know I saw an Xbox 360 towel in there (no it's not pink), and some Xbox 360 eye black stickers. We'll even make it a three-part trivia, so click through and show us what you know.
Part the first: Who invented the original ITC Drinking Game?
Part the second: Why was this ironic?
Part the third: On what episode did we debut the Drinking Game?

We'll offer a piece of swag for a correct answer to each part, so you get crackin' and we'll get diggin'.

Candle: Soopah Bowl

2010-02-08T02:12:00.001-06:00

For every man, woman, child and not-that-into-football husbands who married into football crazy families and are doing their best, who were rooting for the Indianapolis Colts, this candle is for you.
I just finished watching Super Bowl XLIV at the in-laws, and rooting for the Colts because I was obligated to. The game seemed good, but the half time show featuring The Who was probably the best part. The Google commercial was pretty cool too though.

Drinking Game: Cheesecake

2010-02-08T02:11:00.001-06:00

So I've finally ran out of my bargain-bin energy drinks and terrible excuses for drinks for the game, and with that in mind, it's with delight that I return to our old staple, Drinks Mixer for today's Non-Alcoholic Drink of the Week...

Non-Alcoholic

Cheesecake Float

Soft Cream Cheese
Strawberry Soda
Frozen Yogurt or Vanilla Ice Cream
In a blender, mix together the strawberry soda and the soft cream cheese in a 3:1 ratio. Add in scoops of frozen yogurt or vanilla ice cream as you see fit.

8-Bit Style

The Hammer of God

The Gears of War series boasts some of our favorite shooter weaponry of all time, but one of Marcus Fenix's armaments that plays a big role in the plot of Gears of War 2 is the Hammer of God. It's a hand-held weapon that, when activated, calls a huge beam of destruction down from an orbital satellite. It's a futuristic upgrade of the classic bombardier raid. We've taken the old-school drink and the Air mail and renamed it in honor - quaff a couple of these and you'll feel like the Hammer hit you.

2 ounces golden rum

1/2 ounce lime juice

1 teaspoon honey

5 ounces Brut champagne

Mix thoroughly with cracked ice in a chilled coctail shaker, then pour unstrained into a Collins glass. Fill with champagne.

Featured Discussion: iPadding

2010-02-01T02:15:00.006-06:00

With the introduction of the Apple iPad, the technology community has been abuzz with commentary: what is it? What is it for? Will it replace Netbooks? And while I'm not sure I have a good answer to any of these questions, or even anything useful to add to the overall iPad dialogue, I do have to wonder how it will affect the state of handheld gaming. And my answer? Significantly.


Note: This is a companion piece to my article on the introduction of the iPad. 

Since the introduction of the App Store, one of the most popular types of applications for the iPhone and iPod Touch has been games.  In fact, Apple has been doing its best to position the iPod Touch as more of a gaming device than a simple music player.  Clearly seeing a pile of money to be made in the gaming market, and wanting to take a slice of it away from the DS, PSP, and mobile phones, Apple has been working hard to make inroads into gamers' hearts and minds.  And by some accounts they have succeeded:  many major publishers have been developing iPhone- and iPod-specific games, and the most popular apps for the include a number of games ranging from simple to complex. 

The iPad, then, creates a unique opportunity for Apple:  while enabling virtually all of the games that are currently available to iPhone and iPod Touch users to be used on the iPad, and while also giving developers a rich canvas for which they can create a whole slew of new and interesting games, the iPad is yet another trojan horse that Apple is using to place itself firmly within the mainstream gaming community.  Consider the following:  During the iPad Keynote, the very first application showcased for the device, aside from built-in apps like the web browser and photo viewer, was a game.  Scott Forstall, senior vide president of iPhone software, immediately demonstrated a racing game when it was his turn to come on stage.  Following that was a brief Facebook app, and then a snowmobiling game.  As soon as Forstall left the stage, Mark Hickey from Gameloft was given the spotlight in order to showcase an iPad-specific version of his company's game NOVA.  Also on stage during the keynote was EA with an iPad verso of Need for Speed.  MLB.com was on hand to demo a baseball simulator as well.  In all, a significant portion of the iPad announcement was devoted to games.

Whether the device will succeed or not, it's interesting that such a great emphasis was placed on gaming.  Anyone who has used a Mac for any significant period of time can tell you that games are not one of the platform's strong points.  For decades, Mac users have looked on in envy as their Windows-based counterparts enjoyed being the platform of choice for game developers.  If games ever did get released on the Mac, they were (and still are) years late, underwhelming, and met with tepid sales figures.  So it's no surprise that Apple has been trying to rewire the concept of gaming on their devices with the iPhone, iPod Touch, and now the iPad.  In fact, gaming could be one way in which the iPad has a significant leg up on its competition.

True, notebooks still trump the iPad in many significant areas.  And try as Steve Jobs might, Netbooks are actually good at a number of things--just not gaming.  While most notebooks contain a surprising array of features like cameras, 160-gig hard drives, bluetooth, and all sorts of connectivity features, what they lack is sheer horsepower.  Most notebooks contain watered-down CPUs compared to their notebook brethren, and with their tiny screens and keyboards, they are pretty terrible gaming devices.

The iPad, though, is no slouch when it comes to computing horsepower.  And with a 1024 x 768 multitouch screen, it could be an amazing leap forward in expanding the current crop of iPhone and iPod Touch games.  In fact, it provides such an amazing degree of potential for game developers (along with an incredibly powerful distribution channel) that the real key to Apple's success with the iPad might lie not in web surfing, Email, photos, or the other key features mentioned by Steve Jobs, but in games (which is on the list, but way near the bottom).

At this point it's too early to say whether the iPad will be a hit or miss.  It won't be available for another two months, and until then all we have is punditry.  But while the masses have certainly been wrong about this sort of thing before, it's safe to say we should not underestimate Apple here.  And who knows?  In two months we might have not just the best tablet-based computer, but the best handheld gaming device too.

-Simon

Retro: Star Wars

2010-02-01T02:14:00.000-06:00

Hoth. That is all.
Okay not really. Firstly, nobody would deny that this is, hands-down, the worst sounding episode of ITC ever recorded. But it also goes to show how crazy-dedicated John and I were even one month into the podcast. In order to stay on schedule, we taped this episode in the conference room of the Russ's Market grocery store where I was working at the time.

We had no idea how to properly use our USB microphone or how to compensate for background noise, some sort of static interference, or pretty much anything. But we didn't care, and for some reason, neither did our handful of listeners. We thank you for that.

Anyhow. It's hard to remember the specific Star Wars games that we discussed four years ago, but I know for a fact that we marveled at the fact that it seemed impossible for a Star Wars game to exist without the notorious Hoth snow battle. It seemed that no matter how many Rogue Squadron games there were, you could guarantee that you'd be replaying the Hoth scene in every single one.

I remember being in awe at how much better Hoth looked when playing Rogue Squadron (2?) on the GameCube as opposed to, I'm going out on a fuzzy-memory limb here, Shadows of the Empire on N64. That was the one game in particular that I remember really enjoying in the Star Wars series. I'm sure that Simon could go on about (again, fuzzy memory) Super Return of the Jedi on the SNES that he played relentlessly when we were growing up, when I had no interest in Star Wars games at all.

So here's to another generation of Hoth. Cheers.

-Phil

Trivia: Intellivision?

2010-02-01T02:13:00.002-06:00

It must be back-in-time week here at ITC. The last time we mentioned the Intellivision was probably on our "history of consoles" episodes, and maybe on our three-part "evolution of controllers" series. Anyhow, this trivia goes way back in time to before video games had voice-acting.
What was the only game released for the Intellevision to use the sound chip for voice synthesizing? And, just in case you want to try for the double-whammy, last week's trivia is still up for grabs. Not sure what we're giving away this week, but we'll dive deep into the ITC swag bin and see what floats to the surface. Something awesome, I guarantee it.

Remember, just post your answer in the comments and we'll pick a winner at random from all the correct entries.

Candle: I'm Gaming Again

2010-02-01T02:12:00.001-06:00

Some may not believe it, and it's kind of hard to believe myself, but it is in fact true. After settling into parenthood and the routines and little free time that come along with it, I have finally put an end to my long-running, not-entirely-on-purpose...
...run of not playing any games. After moving all three (four, if you count the FC-Twin) of our gaming systems to the bedroom TV, I have spent more time gaming in the past week than I have in the past two or three months.

And it's great. My wife and I are playing a lot of New Super Mario Bros: Wii, and I've actually thrown Prey back into the Xbox 360 and am quite enjoying taking another run at it. The last thing I need to do is run one of my 75-foot ethernet cables from the router in the basement, on the northwest end of the house, down to the laundry room, up through the floor, across the hallway and into the bedroom on the southeast end of the house so I can (maybe) get on Xbox Live, or at least spend some of the points I got for Christmas from John.

So that's it, a little flame for myself actually gaming again. And it feels good.

-Phil

Drinking Game - Mega Man 9

2010-02-01T02:11:00.000-06:00

8-Bit Style

Rush Jet: Mega Man 9

The recent release of Capcom's retro-styled Mega Man 9 for the Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360 had us reliving our youthful adventures with Mega Man, Dr. Light, and all of their friends. One that we've long been fond of is Rush, the robotic dog that can change into a spring, a surfboard, or even a jet. When we went looking for a cocktail to toast their new adventures with, we happily chanced on the Vera Rush, a mixture of dark rum and pineapple juice that is sweet and challenging, just like Mega Man. Forget Vera - this baby is the Rush Jet.

Ingredients

2 ounces dark rum
1/2 ounce pineapple juice

Mixing Instructions:

Pour the rum in an Old-Fashioned glass, with a lump of ice, then float the pineapple juice on top.

Non-Alcoholic Style

Rip-It Energy Fuel: Power Flavor

Sadly, this is the last one in my 25-cents-a-can collection of Shasta-made energy drinks. Not sure how it tastes, I'll let you know this week...

Alcoholic Style

Dewhaus

2 oz Black Haus® blackberry schnapps

1 can Mountain Dew® citrus soda

1 blackberry

Pour 2 shots of Blackhaus in glass. Add two ice cubes. Fill with Mountain Dew. Drop in a blackberry and add a mint leaf if available for presentation.

Featured Discussion: Advertising Revisited

2010-01-25T02:15:00.000-06:00

A while back, I purchased WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 09 for the Xbox 360. I’m a wrestling fan, and it’s been a while since I played a wrestling game, that, and I got it cheap. The set up in game is similar to the real thing; your guy comes into the arena to theme music, walks to the ring while doing whatever poses you select for him to do, then he waits for his opponent, who does the same.
The arena itself is pretty simple, in fact, I’d say overly so. The crowd is, for the most part, 2-D cutouts, many sections with the exact same fan in 8 of the 10 seats in that section. There are fake ads up as well. Signs for Wrestlemania, WWEShop.com, The Book of Eli, and other…wait. What? The Book of Eli, that doesn’t make sense. This game came out Nov. 8, 2008 (ref: Wikipedia), while the movie The Book of Eli wasn’t released until Jan. 15, 2010 (ref: IMDB), there is no way this was programmed in ahead of time. After noticing this, I started keeping an eye on the background during entrances. A couple days later, there’s an ad for the film Legion, which has a release date of Jan. 22, 2010. That’s when it hit me: “They’re advertising in my game!”

Now I had heard that this was coming, in fact, I thought this was something that had already started. I never paid much attention to in game advertising because I assumed I’d only run into it in games like Madden, or NBA Live, which I have limited playing time with, or Gran Turismo, which I refuse to play at all (that’s a subject for another article). Seeing it in a game I did not expect forced me to wonder if I was ok with this.

I’ve had to question myself regarding additional advertising before. Once upon a time, the only things that played before movies in the theater were trailers for other movies. Now, every time I go to the movies (which is much less now that I have kids), I see at least one commercial for Coke, Pizza, Snuggies, something. (Ok, the last one was made up.) Then I hear talk of commercials being played DURING THE MOVIE! That was where I drew the line. If I wanted commercials during my movies, I’d wait two and a half years until they run the edited version on USA or TNT. I’m not paying an extra $8 to have a minute and a half break right in the middle of Serenity 2: Wash Reborn. Why, then, would I accept this in my game? Well, as it turns out, I have no real choice in this matter.

Advertisers used to have a captive audience. In the early days of television, actors would plug items right in the middle of the show (Now Timmy, it was wrong to set Mr. Johnson’s poodle on fire. Why don’t you grab the Jif Peanut Butter, the Smuckers Strawberry Jam, and the Wonder Bread and make him a peace offering. No one can resist a combination like that. And you can pick them all up at your local Kroger’s Grocery Store!) Before the remote control, stations counted on hit shows to keep people on their stations, because no one wanted to get off the couch to change channels. In fact, the major reason stations used to (and still do) keep track of ratings is because of the how many advertising dollars can be made. The invention of DVR, HuLu and the like has nearly killed advertising. That being the case, they had to find other, more concrete methods of spreading their word. Thus, the entry into the video game arena.

If I want to play a game, especially if it’s a game that has advertising space built in (billboards, street signs, etc.) I’m gonna have to deal with in game advertising. The ad firms pay pretty good money to get their ads into the game in the first place, and I’m sure that money goes toward upgrades and development of the next line of games we’ll all be clamoring to get out hands on. So, as much as it’s an annoyance, in game advertising is here, and we can either live with it, or sell our gaming consoles (as far as I’m concerned, the latter is not an option).

-Drew

Retro: In-Game Advertising

2010-01-25T02:14:00.001-06:00

I find it funny to think back now and realize that the concept of in game advertising was new and different to us. At that time there was so much going on that brought it to the forefront of our minds. Whether it was the advertising in Madden or Burnout or just the chances of advertising in less traditional methods.

Now when you look at the same concept so much has changed. Not only do we have advertising in game for sponsors, but the developers themselves are advertising in their own games. I've played through Dragon Age completely at this point and even have purchased the downloadable content for the game, but even I was shocked by what can only be deemed advertising in the game.

For those of you who haven't played it you have an in-game "camp" that serves as a hub for your party. In this camp is a guy who is not a member of your party who wants you to help him with a quest. After listening to his story he TELLS you that if you want to assist him go to (insert console specific store here) and PURCHASE THE CONTENT. Now never mind anyhting other than that this game is an RPG. A ROLE PLAYING GAME. Can we seriously be expected to be immersed into an environment when the in-game NPC's talk about the fact that it is a GAME?

Now things aren't all bad since that night so long ago. Some developers (See 2K) listened to fan backlash over all of this advertising and it's effects on realism and responded (it appears) accordingly to fix the problem. Even in my own experience it appears that the advertisers themselves have started to back out. This years Madden was noticeably less inundated with advertisement. Now who knows, this could be a result of the recession and a lack of dollars (or not). Maybe advertisers have noticed a lack of sales increase due to the money they have been spending.

The reality of it is that game developers will continue to insert ads and claim that it enhances the realism and allows them to deliver a quality product. Gamers will continue to be upset over being forced to watch these "invasive" ads. I think it is a little of both. But listen in to hear what we thought then and make up you own mind to what has happened. Especially listen and hear what we said about the future. It's always fun to listen to our predictions from years ago with new knowledge.

-John

Trivia: Yoshi Again?

2010-01-25T02:13:00.000-06:00

We all know that Yoshi has been around since the days of Super Mario World, and (hopefully) we've all seen and have on DVD the epic Super Mario Bros. film. If you don't, well, we need to talk. Our question this week is this: Who designed the robotic Yoshi used in the film? Our prize? A mini, squishy Xbox 360 football.
Here's the video in question from last week's trivia. The answer is 10, and our winner is Jeremy. Congrats, poker champ. You've won a five-pack of DS Lite styluses, just what you needed!

Candle: Unanswered Trivia

2010-01-25T02:12:00.000-06:00

Again with the lameness this week (see the "non-alcoholic" drink), but nobody answered last week's trivia question, so it's still there. And it's sad, there's a prize and everything. C'mon people, a little Google, a little Wikipedia, it can't be too hard.

Drinking Game: Donkey Kong is Here!

2010-01-25T02:11:00.000-06:00

What does Cranky Kong drink to keep himself going when he's doing whatever it is that he does? Truth is, nobody really knows. What we do know, is that there's never anything that isn't good enough for a promotional item, so this week, our 8-Bit Style drink brings you...

Nintendo Donkey Kong: Jungle Juice

Yeah, this is a real product. A second tie-in from Nintendo. Jungle Juice appeared more recently (in March 2008) and is a pink bubblegum flavor. A poor choice of name: in popular culture Jungle Juice is the name given to a mix of liquor that is usually served for group consumption.

Alcoholic Style

Non-Alcoholic Style (cough)

Bahama Mama from Red Lobster

I know it's an alcoholic drink, but it's just so darn delicious that you have to have one every once in a while.

Featured Discussion: Gaming Awakening

2010-01-18T02:15:00.003-06:00

In some ways I feel a little bit like Rip Van Winkle or Han Solo after being released from his Carbonite chamber. In college I was an avid video gamer, and even though I mostly owned Nintendo consoles and Macintosh computers, I managed to stay fairly current with a lot of the games and gaming trends. After graduating, moving to Minnesota, and starting my career as a teacher, I found that video games took a back seat to lots of other things. My job kept me so busy that when I had time to play video games, I rarely did as I didn't really find them to be relaxing or even enjoyable (levels I could not beat only frustrated me, since I didn't have much time to devote to a game in the first place). We did get a Wii, though, and I did enjoy playing (dare I say it?) casual games with my wife and our friends, but it was never the same as the late nights spent playing Halo or Resident Evil in college. And to be honest, I just didn't play video games all that much.

A month ago, everything changed.

Being out of the teaching profession (for now) with a regular 8-to-5 job, and having a nice living room in our own house, I thought it would be good to get back into the video game scene a bit. And so I recently purchased an Xbox 360 and after borrowing several games from Phil and other people, have begun catching up on the last four years of video games. In a way it's actually cooler like this, because all the great games are not only cheap (I bought Gears of War for $10 used at Gamestop) but a lot of people I know are already well versed in various games and are willing to provide help, or just good conversation about them.

But along with my personal video game renaissance, I'm also experiencing, for the very first time, what it's like to be an online gamer. I've dabbled in a few online games before (most notably the absolutely terrible MMORPG Hyperiums, but for Christmas my wife's parents got me a subscription to Xbox Live...and wow. In just over one week my entire conception of what online games are, or can be, has entirely changed. Like a kid in a candy store, I have been trying to sample as much of various online games, so I haven't exactly gone in-depth with any of them. But after several matches of Call of Duty 4, Gears of War, 1 vs. 100, as well as the other online offerings that Life has, I can say at the least that I will be renewing my Xbox Live subscription next year. And at most, I'd even wager a bet that Xbox Live is the future of online entertainment.

A bold claim, perhaps, but hear me out. And allow me to use 1 vs. 100 as an example of what I mean. To wit: I am not much of an RPG gamer, and certainly have not the time or willpower to become invested in a game like World of Warcraft. Part of my hesitancy to jump in to those types of MMORPGs is, to be honest, the intimidation factor: pit me against millions of seasons veterans, and I'm going to feel like there's no way I can gain a foothold in the game. But 1 vs. 100 eschews the entire concept of what an MMORPG can be, although I suppose it's not technically an RPG, but more of just a, well, a G.

However, this past week my wife and I have had a great time playing several rounds of 1 vs. 100. Even though we are entirely new to the game, we immediately felt like we were making solid progress. The half-hour time investment is easy, the questions are balanced enough that we never go more than a handful of rounds without knowing at least knowing one or two answers. And it's the kind of game that we could easily play with others in our living room, with everyone chipping in to answer questions. Far from a game like Scene It? or Buzz!, one of the most exciting parts of 1 vs. 100 is that we are playing against other people. When we get a question right that the Mob mostly gets wrong, we feel a sense of satisfaction. And when we are beat by other players, we don't blame the computer in a fit of frustration--instead, we feel like we were bested by people who were simply more knowledgeable than us.

In short, the online game 1 vs. 100 has captivated us (both casual gamers) in a way that no other online game has. But even more than just my wife and I playing, I have had a few matches during which I was using the Xbox headset to chat with friends. It was almost as if we were all in the same living room, and the idea that we were all playing individually but with each other was far more compelling than any other online gaming experience I have ever had.

It's this type of online gaming experience that will serve to introduce more people to video games in general, and online games specifically. To be sure, there will always be an ever-growing market for online games like Halo 3, Modern Warfare 2, and the like. But while Nintendo continues to flap its corporate gums about casual gaming and paying lip service to the concept of online gaming, while growing ever more stagnant and lifeless as a company, and Sony struggles to bring its online offering to the point where Xbox Live was four years ago, Microsoft has quietly begun winning the battle of the Living Room. Or perhaps they have already won.

-Simon

Retro: Xbox Live Marketplace

2010-01-18T02:14:00.002-06:00

Thinking back four years ago, it's hard to imagine the Xbox Live Marketplace even existing. Heck, it's hard to even imagine Xbox Live existing in any form, let alone like it exists today. Microsoft really changed the game by giving gamers a centralized place right on their consoles to purchase "arcade" games, DLC for their disc-based games, wallpapers, and a whole lot more.
Think about it, before the Xbox 360, this entire concept hardly existed on a home console. When I think of the original Marketplace, one game, one item comes to mind above all others: Geometry Wars. This was essentially the Tetris, or even the Wii Sports of the Marketplace. Those two games, when included with their respective consoles, showed gamers the amount of pure fun they could be having by purchasing said gaming system.

Geometry Wars would in no way warrant its own purchase if it was released as a standalone game. It would have to be a mini-game of sorts, or an unlockable (sound familiar?) of some kind in order for people to play it. In the days of the PS1, Geometry Wars would be the kind of thing you'd find on one of those Demo Discs that you'd get in your mailbox or stuffed inside of your Crash Bandicoot centerfold.

We had entire groups of people crammed into the dinky living room at my brother's house where I was living at the time, just to experience Geometry Wars. That game opened the doors to show people what was possible with an online connection to their console. Once you got into the Marketplace, you could find demos of upcoming titles (Kameo, anyone?), behind-the-scenes videos for some games, wallpapers, and a whole lot more. And this was only the groundwork.

Microsoft clearly knew what they were doing, and they had it right. Look at the Marketplace today and you'll see that its content is nearly limitless. My only gripe with the system, if I had to have one, would be the Points they insist that you use. Sony lets you plug in your credit card and buy away, but both Microsoft and Nintendo insist that you convert your dollars into some proprietary "Points" and spend those. It's not terrible, because it makes for a unified system all around the world, and it lets you score points cards on sale at retailers and buy them as gifts, but if I had to change one thing, it would be to be able to spend dollars instead of Points.

-Phil

Trivia: Yoshi!

2010-01-18T02:13:00.000-06:00

We all know that Yoshi has been around since the days of Super Mario World, and (hopefully) we've all seen and have on DVD the epic Super Mario Bros. film. If you don't, well, we need to talk. Our question this week is this: Who designed the robotic Yoshi used in the film? Our prize? A mini, squishy Xbox 360 football. Click through for last week's answer...
Here's the video in question from last week's trivia. The answer is 10, and our winner is Jeremy. Congrats, poker champ. You've won a five-pack of DS Lite styluses, just what you needed!

Candle: Haiti Earthquake

2010-01-18T02:12:00.000-06:00

This week our candle takes a more serious turn. We light it in memory of all the lives lost and lives affected because of the earthquake that struck Haiti last week. Please pray for those who have lost loved ones, homes, and everything else they hold dear. If you haven't already, please donate to the Red Cross to aid in their relief effort.

Drinking Game: Coffee

2010-01-18T02:11:00.001-06:00

I have had a love/hate relationship with coffee over the years. Firstly, I can hardly stand the way it tastes black, or even marginally close to black. It has to be masked with enough cream, sugar, chocolate, mint, or whatever else to make you forget what you're really drinking. So this week I present my current personal coffee drink.

Non-Alcoholic Style

Phil's Coffee Recipe

Start with two bags of Host of Nebraska coffee in a large filter. Run the pot until it's full, and in the meantime, add two packages of powdered creamer, two (sometimes three) sugar packets, and one Sweet and Low into a thermos. When the pot's brewed, fill the thermos to a half-inch from the top. Stir thoroughly with a disposable plastic knife. Enjoy.

Alcoholic Style

Gangreen

12 oz Mountain Dew
1 shot Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
1 shot Johnnie Walker Scotch Whiskey

Take a highball glass or anything that will hold 12 oz. of soda and pour the soda in the glass. Next take one shot of the captain morgan's spiced rum and add it to the mountain dew. Finally, add one shot of the johnnie walker red label to the mix. Stir it and enjoy.

8-Bit Style

Left 4 Dead

Fresh muddled lime wedges

Mango puree

Cachaca

Shaken and poured over rocks. I'd say that the Left 4 Dead cocktail reminds me of the caipirinha, or the classic cocktail of Brazil, but honestly, that's probably just due to the cachaca, as this one has no mint in it. Still, it's another fruity drink, this time named after a first person shooter slash survival horror game that emphasizes teamwork for the humans and 28 Days Later-esque "Infected" zombies on the other side, some with grotesque powers, others who will curbstomp you while you're down. Like the zombies, I'd bet this drink would pound your head into the curb if you're not careful. Cachaca can be dangerous stuff.

Featured Discussion: Gaming in 2010

2010-01-11T15:55:00.001-06:00

Where do you see gaming going in 2010? This was actually the discussion topic of ITC's 149th episode, which was lost to the abyss, so we're going to start off our new site with this topic since it's fresh in our minds. 2010 promises a lot of interesting changes to the world of gaming, and we want to explore the possibilities and hedge our bets on what we think we'll be seeing in gaming in the coming year. Some things of interest are Sony's as-of-yet unnamed motion controller, as well as Microsoft's still-codenamed Project Natal. We are also curious to see if Nintendo will do anything new to push the Wii even harder.

So let me take a look at each of those big three, in, yes, a very particular order. First up we have Sony, who is taking what I think is probably the right approach to take on motion controls right now. The rumors as of now are that Sony will launch their new motion controller sometime in the first half of the year, probably around March. We don't know the price, or really much about the actual software that it will work with, but we do know that they're combining a mix of Nintendo's waggle with Microsoft's whole-body approach. This is why I think it's the right way to go.

Sony seems to understand that you can't use gimmicky motion controls as the only means of playing a game, at least in most cases. Their controller, which I'm betting will be called Sphere when it's released, uses precise motion tracking in combination with buttons on a wand-like device. Their tracking is going to be far more accurate than what Nintendo currently offers, even with the Wii Motion Plus. Essentially, if you imagine what the Wii *could be*, if it were magically an HD console with a solid online network, killer software and tight controls, you'd end up with the Sony Sphere. Here's hoping it will retail at a decent price and with an amazing lineup of software to get things started.

Microsoft, on the other hand, is going for a completely different kind of motion controls. We've all seen the demos of people, Jimmy Fallon included, flailing themselves wildly about trying to hit soccer balls with their heads or drive a car with an invisible steering wheel and so on. This approach seems odd to me because I'm a firm believer in physical interaction with your gaming. You probably know my thoughts on the iPhone "gaming revolution" and how it's, for the most part, just another gimmick. I think the same line of thought might apply to Project Natal.

The technology behind it is fantastic, don't get me wrong, but at this point I feel that Microsoft might be banking too heavily on it and forgetting that you still need buttons to push. They've got a while to get things sorted out, since it looks like Natal won't launch until October or November of next year, and I hope they make some smart choices. The Xbox 360 is undeniably the leading console at this point, and Microsoft has done almost everything spot-on this generation. I just hope they don't screw it up with their official response to Nintendo's motion-controlled phenomenon.

Speaking of which, I think Nintendo basically pulled "an Apple" in that they released a profound new product that was groundbreaking on one or two levels, and has rested on its laurels ever since. Nothing new has come to the Wii since its launch three years ago - and I firmly stand by that statement. There have been far too few titles that truly take advantage of the Wii and far too many titles that simply encourage me to get my grandma to shake it, throw it, twist it, etc. Would I have still bought a Wii three years ago if I'd have known the only games my wife and I would truly enjoy on it would be Mario Kart, Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime? Probably, but it would have made me reconsider the $250 asking price.

From what we can tell, Nintendo is offering is absolutely nothing new in 2010. We know that there are new games coming out that we all want, Metroid: Other M and Mario Galaxy 2 chief among them. But those sound awfully familiar, don't they? Sure I'm missing other great titles that I'm just not into, and hopefully the rest of our writers can fill in some gaps, but this has always been my style of gaming, and I grew up on Nintendo! So where is my Star Fox? Where is my F-Zero? Where is Pikmin 3? I'm sorry, Nintendo, but one or two franchises and the promise of a heartbeat sensor that I wear on my finger and is going to change the way I game (sigh) are not really enough to keep me interested. In 2010, Nintendo either needs to start showing off new hardware, or show the gaming world, people like you and I who grew up on their industry-defining titles, that they've still got some kahunas.

-Phil

Related Links
Famitsu - 2010 In Videogames Already Revealed

Retro: The Very First ITC

2010-01-11T15:54:00.000-06:00

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, God said, "Let there be Lips!"...

Okay so this isn't really about Star Wars and it DEFINITELY isn't about Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is all about a little podcast started oh so long ago... So many years ago on the cold January morning Fil and I set out on a long journey to make a different type of podcast.We figured that maybe, just maybe, you might like to listen in on us when we talked about video games. That maybe a new, "intelligent", video game discussion might just be your style.

This first "Retro" episode of ITC was all about introducing you to who we are and what our goals for the show were. Now obviously we were new to the game and trying to get our feet under us. We didn't know how long these shows would last or even what we really were aiming to do. The sound quality was poor, the equipment raw, and the banter uncontrolled. But God was it fun. So go back with us as we start from the beginning in reliving the journey that led to the gorgeous blog in front of you today.

-John

Candle: The Next Generation

2010-01-11T15:53:00.000-06:00

You read that right folks. Of course, anyone who's been listening to ITC for a while has known about this for a few months, but the regularly-scheduled episodes of Inside The Console will no longer happen. We light this week's candle for ourselves, and the last four years of awesome podcasting.
But of course that doesn't mean all is lost. This website is the birth of a new era for Inside The Console. We're taking our topic-based discussion concept from podcast to website, so that we can be more interactive with our listeners. Of course, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't also because John, Drew and myself are indeed "growing up" and it's getting more and more difficult to schedule podcast recordings.

This does give us the opportunity to get more people involved though, which is great. Instead of having the occasional article written by Evan or another "outside" author, we now have six main contributors to the site, all of whom will be starting discussions and participating in everything that goes on here.

So sit back and enjoy the candlelight. The podcast-based ITC is essentially gone, but the hosts and people closely involved with the podcast over the years are sticking around and staying involved. We will, on occasion, get some of us back into the studio to do an episode or two. After all, what would an E3 be without a three-part podcast bashing on Nintendo, eh Tim?

We're going to throw in something different for the candle as well this week, and that is New Beginnings. Not just for the next generation of ITC as a website, but for the literal next generation of ITC. We have two new family members and future gamers to welcome. Phil's son Noah was born on 11/30/09, and Drew's daughter EmmaClair was born on 1/6/10.

-Phil

Trivia: Nintendo Sixty Four!

2010-01-11T15:52:00.001-06:00

How many letter O's are there in the title of the famous N64 Kid video on YouTube? You know the one I'm talking about, don't you? The prize? A five-pack of randomly-colored DS Lite Styli. Styluses? PDA-inspired "writing" utensils? Yeah, those things.

If you actually don't know what video I'm talking about, it's one where a young boy opens a N64 for Christmas and completely freaks out. It should be easy enough for you to find. Feel free to leave your answer in the comments, and we'll randomly draw a winner next week to receive this awesome prize.

Drinking Game: Princess Peach?

2010-01-11T15:51:00.001-06:00

So, as some things change, others stay the same. Continuing with the years-long Mountain Dew trend, this week's Inside The Console Drinking Game Drink of the Week Alcoholic Style is...

(you know, when that phrase is typed out it seems unnecessarily long)

The Peach Kristy

3 oz Peach Schnapps

5 oz Mountain Dew

One Handful Ice

Put the ice in a glass. Pour desired amount of Peach Schnapps into glass. Fill with Mountain Dew.

Non-Alcoholic Style

Rip It Energy Fuel - STING-er Mo Flavor

Can be found in the scratch-n-dents area of your local grocery store for 25 cents a can. From the makers of Shasta, how awesome is that?

8-Bit Style

The Morning After - Vault Style

2 oz Absinthe

1 teaspoon Anisette Syrup

2 serving Egg Whites

Shake the ingredients violently with cracked ice, then strain into an old-fashioned glass and splash in a little club soda or seltzer on top. If using homemade Absinthe, remember: What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

Featured Discussion

2010-01-10T07:56:00.007-06:00

The relaunch of Inside The Console is happening on January 12th, not January 11th as planned. In the spirit of the show, there have been some technical difficulties that set us back a bit. Check back then for a brand new Featured Discussion, as well as throwbacks to the ITC Podcast which include re-airing of our original episodes, Trivia, Candle topics and, of course, the Drinking Game. See you soon.
Testing, Testing.

CALLING ALL ITC FANS!!!!

2009-09-18T13:59:00.002-05:00

Calling all itc listeners.........

Like the SHOW? Like a HOST? Like a member of the STAFF? Have lots of free time to aimlessly search STUFF? Now is the time to help us out. Phil and I have been talking over the months and have been piecing together ITC's past and need your help. I am not able to say why we need the following but if anyone out there has .....

EPISODE 36
EPISODE 37
EPISODES 39-48
EPISODE 97
EPISODE 106

PLEASE PLEASE LET PHIL KNOW!!!!!!

These are the only missing episodes that I have not been able to find and/or get for Phil.

Thanks for the help.

Jim Mommens
EFO of ITC

ps.... efo? here is your hint..... I am better than Evan R. Lawson. NO CHEATING. GUESSES ONLY. DO NOT ASK FOR HELP. ONLY PHIL AND I KNOW.

Some Random Shit Happened at PAX

2009-09-10T21:54:00.002-05:00

The good news is that I have not been stricken with the Swine Flu that reared its ugly head in Seattle over the weekend (my conscience is clear, Jeff Green!). The bad news is that I have a pretty bad cold and feel like almost, but not quite, complete shit. So rather than do a proper post where I talk about something and have, like, an opinion, here's a list of random crap I saw and did at the convention.

1.) I was standing outside of the hotel and Tim Schafer was coming down the sidewalk. Random nerds were coming the other way. When they passed, the random nerds went, in this really high-pitched and jokey voice, "Ohmigodit'sTimSchafer!" Without missing a beat, and in the same voice, Schafer went, "Ohmigodit'syouguys!" and everyone just kept walking.

2.) We were crossing the street in a big group, with me on the outside edge, and someone was crossing the other way. My first thought was, "I am probably going to shoulder-check that guy." Then we got a little closer and my second thought was, "That guy is Wil Wheaton." So my third thought, following very closely after my second thought, was, "I am probably going to shoulder-check Wil Wheaton." But luckily I missed.

3.) I spent maybe twenty minutes at the MySims Agents kiosk talking to Jeff Green about adventure games and Beatles Rock Band. This was unspeakably awesome, although I'm pretty sure he was ready for me to leave after a while.

4.) The woman dressed as The Prince at the Katamari Forever demo posed for a picture in which she pretended to kick a guy in the balls. Sadly, we did not get that picture.

5.) Saturday night, I was trying to find someone to give my concert wristband (guaranteeing access) to, and I saw a guy coming towards me (it was not Wil Wheaton this time). I was about to ask if he wanted the wristband, but then I saw that it was MC Frontalot. And I'm pretty sure he could get into the concert if he wanted to.

There was more, but I think I'm going to go sleep now. My head feels like it's full of pudding.

-Evan

A Letter From Tim

2009-09-09T09:43:00.001-05:00

A Guest Post from Tim Sundberg - In Response to Episode #142

First off, a few clarifications, I assume you were thinking of Rogue Squadron II when you reacted surprised to me saying that NP didn't like it; Rogue Squadron III came out a few years after the Gamecube and was not solely a space fighter (part of the reason why NP was disappointed in it). RSII was a very good game and was a launch title; RSIII lost its focus and was a worse game as a result. I do like that you refute my points, makes me think more about what I have to say so keep it up. Oblivion looks like a great game but I just don't think I have the time for it right now if you guys are any example.

I got a blue DSi and really, what I like the most about it is the DSi Ware you can get for it. The reason I got it was that I dropped my boom box on my DS Lite and screwed up the top screen and I though “why not” and more or less got it for my birthday. It is in general nicer than the DS Lite (bigger screens, more responsive buttons) but not as large of an upgrade as the Lite was from the "Phat" so unless you really want more internet connectivity and downloadable games it really isn't a must buy. It really is comparable to a portable Wii, the system menu is much the same. The two games I downloaded, Art Style: PiCTOBiTS and Art Style: precipice (that's how they're written) are very fun though and are perfect portable diversions; cheap, quick to pick up, and easy to play; PiCTOBiTS has some great remixed NES tracks in it too.

I now want to talk a little bit about Team Fortress 2 (I am near obsessed with it so it's hard not to) I understand that maybe you shouldn't trust just what I have to say about it (I can't not have bias at this point) and would recommend you look to reviews and whatnot but there is one thing I have to have to say, If you are looking at the PC version (the vastly superior one) most reviews you read will be out of date. It makes sense that a game would be reviewed when it came out but we're talking about Valve here and they are trying something different with TF2. The game as it is right now is very different from what was released with the Orange Box back in 2007 and that version is what most of the reviews are based on. So if you are seriously looking into trying it, either wait for a free weekend (probably not for a while but you never know) or look for scuttlebutt on various community websites such as ubercharged.net or various videos on Youtube and such. I can direct you to good resources if you wish to investigate it further.

So yeah, one of the reasons I like TF2 so much is that it is constantly updated with (free!) new content not only by the company itself but by the very active community. Most other companies would lump everything together in a big expansion pack that you would pay for but at least with TF2, they keep actively supporting the game and iteratively improve it via constant feedback form the community. I'm not sure that development from Valve will stop before the next (at least) year or two and all of this is for a game that was released two years ago at essentially $20, for example, they still update Counter-Strike from time to time, and that game was released in 2004.

What I'm saying here isn't totally pointless and does apply to the podcast somewhat because Valve has become very interested in Xbox 360 development; for example, Left 4 Dead on the 360 has gotten much the same attention as the PC version and I think that bodes well for the console's future, whereas in the past if a Valve game went to a console, another company handled the port. On this subject, maybe an idea for a future episode could either be DLC (free or otherwise) or the relationship between PC games and consoles.

My new dog's name is Kennedy and she is a mix but has a healthy dose of Cairn terrier in her and seeing how she's eight moths old, she's really still a puppy. We picked the name because we have a cat name Reagan (female also) and felt a presidential theme would be cool; if you're really curious, I have three cats and two dogs, so there's plenty of animals in my house.

As far as I know no one got kicked out of Disney World but the threat was there, I don't think everyone would have to be sent home, I think the deal was that the parents would have to pay for airfare to come get their kid, ergo putting the kid in deep shit with their parents and everyone else could still enjoy themselves. I think the group that I was a part of gets treated well by Disney because we have a large group come ~400 people and we've been doing the trip every four years for almost twenty.

A little background first: where I live, Sylvania, Ohio, is weird because it has two high schools, which is very odd for a city of our size, the only district that has more than one near us is the City of Toledo, which has roughly 18 times the population. I attend Northview, the other school is Southview and they are, predictably, on the north and south side of town. The two schools are rivals in almost everything and share many of the same facilities (they have the track; we have the football stadium and pool). The two marching bands are quite close however, and we do even do a drill with them for the big Northview Southview football game (a very big event). The Sylvania Northview Wildcat Marching Band (official title) is one the largest (usually around 200 members) and best bands in the region and we go to a lot of public benefit concerts and that sort of thing and generally impress the community. To sum it up, the Sylvania marching bands are big and important and since both schools go as a unit to Disney, in a convoy of six full size travel coaches we're top priority when we get to Disney, we marched very near the front of the parade with I think close to 100,000 people watching us. So no, we got great treatment and no one got kicked out. Incidentally, I had a blast as well.

I'm kind of tired and rambling here but that was what you guys were like on your show so I guess we're even. Again, if you have anything to say to me, feel free to e-mail me, do something on the blog, or talk to me on Steam; e-mail is preferable. I still enjoy the show.

-Timothy Sundberg

Too Little, Too Late

2009-09-05T02:17:00.000-05:00

I am at PAX.

PAX is fucking awesome.

See you next week.

BYU Study: Gaming Will Make You A Loser

2009-08-28T02:01:00.002-05:00

I was listening to the radio in the car on the way home and all of a sudden, John Tesh was talking about this study from Brigham Young University that links video games to poor relationships with friends and family. According to John Tesh, the study says that a group of 813 students from six different universities answered questions about their gaming habits and the qualities of their relationships with friends and family. The study goes on to say that--

What? Why was I listening to John Tesh? We're not talking about me, okay? We need to focus.

The study (if you want to read the whole thing, it's available online) makes the following connections, among others:

1.) Playing video games, especially violent ones, is "negatively related" to relationships with parents and friends.

2.) The more young women play video games, the lower their self-esteem gets.

3.) People who play games are more likely to be involved in "risky behaviors" like binge drinking, drug abuse, and sexual promiscuity.

If you read that article I linked to above, you'll see that the researchers themselves say that the connection is "modest."

So what's the big deal?

I think it's a bit more telling that they were surveying 20-year-old students; you could just as easily make a connection between preference in ice cream flavors and "risky behaviors" because at the end of the day, they are twenty-year-old college students.

Do you know what I think causes people to have low self-esteem, fights with their parents, and a need to drink vast quantities of alcohol? Being in college. According to the study, 90% of the students surveyed lived away from their parents, which means that it is a hell of a lot easier for them to go out drinking or bring somebody home or, heaven forbid, stay up all night playing video games.

Why do they do this? Because they can.

Laura Walker, the co-author of the study, concludes, "It may be that young adults remove themselves from important social settings to play video games, or that people who already struggle with relationships are trying to find other ways to spend their time...[m]y guess is that it’s some of both and becomes circular." This makes sense at first, maybe, but it completely ignores the element of responsibility.

Let's say, for example, that you stayed up all night playing video games, so you slept during the day and missed class. You do this a number of times throughout the semester. When you receive your grades, you find that you have not performed particularly well.

Congratulations, says the study. Your video game habit has affected your academic performance, just like I said it would.

Now let's say that you stay up all night watching MacGyver. You miss class, you come home, you spend the next night watching Star Trek, and so on. You get your grades and they're terrible. Why are the grades bad? Because of TV Land? Or because you failed to get your shit together?

I'm thinking it's the latter, and it should be no different for video games. The fact is that people who neglect one part of their lives to indulge another will see a decrease in quality in the neglected area. And a big part of what people learn in college is how to prioritize, how to set goals, and how to balance work and fun. In other words, college is where many people learn to be adults. But it is also where many people drink and have a lot of sex, because that's pretty much what young people will do, if given half a chance.

-Evan

*Bonus Strangeness: The article refers to "Project READY", and the study contains a link to www.projectready.net. But if you click on that link, it's an ad portal. I'm not shouting conspiracy or anything; that's just kind of weird. Oh, and there's only one mention of Project READY on the Internet, and its goal is not to examine the transition of young people to adulthood, but rather to help non-traditional Iowa students earn a high-school diploma. Make of this information what you will.

A Long Time Coming

2009-08-20T23:11:00.002-05:00

So I had this great post ready to go and sitting at work. Now I understand why I can't access Blogger from my work. (Stupid Privacy laws...) Now the problem becomes when you spend good work time working on something and it up and disappears leaving you to have to make something else up. Such is the case with this post.

Due to the hectic schedules of you wonderful hosts we pushed back our topic to this coming weekend. As such we will be talking about game developer shortcuts and cliches. I'm sure many of you have already read Evan's post, that we are not worthy of, about the subject and have a great head start. Now for some input from me.

I don't want to go into too much detail on my thoughts (That is why we record by the way...) but I do want to leave you with some questions:

1) What are some of the first things that come to mind when you think of cliches and shortcuts in gaming? Some examples include: Giant hit me signs on a boss, "random" encounters, etc.

2) Has a cliche ever ruined a game or possibly an entire genre for you?

3) Are these shortcuts necessary in order to push out the games at today's break neck pace or would the entire industry be better off without them?

4) And a new one thanks to Gamescon: Peter "I'm frickin insane!" Moyleneux (Yeah I probably misspelled it, but I really don't care. The guy is creepy.) unveiled Fable 3. He SWEARS he will be ripping the foundation from RPG's for this game. The question: What the hell is he talking about and is he removing the "cliched" Dungeon's and Dragon's style RPG foundation?

So yeah just a few things to think about.

And you know what, the PSP rocks. Rock Band for the PSP ROCKS! I really wish I didn't have to say that. I picked it up for my birthday as a bundle and I just love it. I also now remember how much I loved Lumines originally. Now if Memory Sticks weren't so damned expensive.

And just so you know if you use Axe products and live near a Target try and pick up their special gamer packs. $5 for the products and 300 Microsoft Points. Stocking up on cleaning product AND free points. You can't lose. I almost have enough to pick up all the Fallout 3 expansions. Now if I just had time to play between Madden and NCAA...

-John

Alarming Findings

2009-08-20T18:28:00.006-05:00

Report: Game Reviews Create Bias

LOS ANGELES -- The act of playing a video game, and then writing down one's opinions to be read by others, creates unfair biases against games the reviewer did not like, according to a report released today by independent advocacy group People Looking at Games Under Extreme Scrutiny (PLaGUES).

The report -- Game Played: How Unfavorable Press Coverage Affects Sales -- documents the connection between game reviewers who speak poorly about certain games and public reluctance to pay money for them, concluding that negative reviews create a bias which results in poor sales for games that do not review well.

"It's about time these game reviewers got taken to task for their unfair swaying of public opinion," said Randy Dibswillow, President of developer Crackup Games. Crackup's latest release, Let's Wank for the Nintendo Wii, currently has a 5% review average on Metacritic and has sold fewer than 300 copies.

"We spent weeks, if not months, on that game, and that's not including the days of testing," Dibswillow said. "We really wanted to nail the controls. But reviewers don't care about all that work; they just want to be funny. A few people worked several hours on Let's Wank, and that game deserves to be played."

"It's a game about wanking," said Jack "Bucky" McIntosh, Reviews Editor at popular game site Insert Coin. "Like, that's all you do. You make wanking motions with the Wii Remote and it gives you a score...somehow. How can you charge money for that?"

Dibswillow has gained support in the game industry, including an endorsement from That Giant Video Game Company President Maximillian Kaust. That Giant Video Game Company's Space Marine 5 also drew the ire of game journalists when it shipped with only half of the game on the disc.

"First of all, the claims that we shipped half a game are just wrong," Kaust said. "We at That Giant Video Game Company believe, first and foremost, in quality, and those three levels are the best you're going to find anywhere. We were looking forward to extending the experience of Space Marine 5 through three brand-new levels available as for-pay downloadable content, but I don't know that that's going to happen now. Thanks a lot, game reviewers. I hope you're happy."

PLaGUES spokesperson Janet Hobson-Dibswillow expanded on the group's findings, saying, "It's really shocking what the media is doing to these companies. These are good people who work hard for their creative visions. Back before the Internet, we didn't have all these smartass kids bending the public to their wills, and companies like Crackup and That Giant Video Game Company could release shitty games and they sold great. Wait...did I say 'shitty games'? I meant 'games.'"

When asked if PLaGUES would be running a study to examine the effects of positive reviews on public opinion, Hobson-Dibswillow responded, "I don't really see the value in that."

Excited about Playstation

2009-08-18T14:40:00.004-05:00

Growing up I never thought I'd say this, but right now I am very excited about the Playstation brand and the Playstation 3.

We all knew it was coming, but the PS3 Slim has me stoked. I've never really *wanted* a PS3 before, mostly because they're so expensive. If I somehow happened to have four or five hundred dollars not doing anything in particular (which, as a married homeowner expecting a baby, ain't ever gonna happen) I've always said that I could use it for a PS3, but we all know things like that just don't happen.

Historically speaking, I expected Sony to debut a PS3 Slim soon, but not for $300. They dropped the current models by $100 in order to move inventory, and as far as I can tell, there will now be strictly one model of the PS3, which includes a 160GB hard drive, and everything else you could want (except for that pesky PS2 emulation... *tsk tsk*). $300 is totally acceptable for real, honest-to-goodness competition at this point, and I expect the new system to do well.

Heck, I want one. As in, I would seriously would consider getting one when I can afford to replace my 360 if I didn't already have a lot of 360 games. Or maybe a "we finished paying for our car so let's celebrate" PS3 Slim. Who knows, but I definitely, honestly want a PS3 Slim. It's attractive, it's desirable, it's affordable, and there are used games a'plenty at this point in its life.

The *other* thing about me being excited about Playstation is that I've started working on my stack of PS2 games from last Christmas. I began to play God of War last week, and it's a ton of fun. I really like it, and I can see myself staying up later than I need to be, down in the basement slashing baddies.

Playing the PS2 has got me excited about gaming again, and that's a good thing. I've been in a gaming drought ever since I lost my 360, and I'm glad that I have the PS2 to fall back on. It's nice.

At this point in the game (har) I could see myself eventually (but not *too* eventually...) having all three current-gen systems. I'd even genuinely consider selling the Wii to get a PS3 Slim if it weren't for a few games on the horizon that I'm going to buy, such as Metroid Prime Trilogy and Mario Galaxy 2.

So we'll see what happens.

-Phil

Thoughts on the 360 Summer Update

2009-08-13T21:41:00.005-05:00

The 360 Dashboard Update on Tuesday added several new features to the interface. After a few days with it, here are my initial impressions, in convenient bulleted-list form.

The Good

* Party Watch: My friend and I watched some Classic Doctor Who on what translates proportionally to an approximately 378-inch television. There is no universe in which that is not badass. And all the while we were chatting over our headsets, making jokes, and offering comments. The opportunities for MST3K-style antics are inspiring.

* It is incredibly easy and fast to add things to the Netflix Instant Queue from the Dashboard.

The Bad

* Avatar Marketplace: To be fair, I don't think I'm the target audience for this, as I'm either too old or too cheap. My avatar hasn't changed since I made it; it looks and dresses like me. I am that boring. Still, I can kind of see the appeal of giving him a lightsaber to further prove to the world what a giant fucking nerd I am. But I can't see the appeal of paying 5 bucks for it. These Geek Taxes gotta end.

* It is incredibly easy and fast to add things to the Netflix Instant Queue from the Dashboard. My Queue runneth over as it is, and I just added entire seasons of "Californication" and "Man vs. Food". Heaven help me when they add the ability to browse everything on Netflix.

The Ambivalent

* When a person is about to get booted from XBox Live while in a Party Watch session, their avatar will actually get up and leave the room. This is actually pretty cool, as far as visual representations of tech problems go, but it also led to me screaming, "No! Sit down! Please don't leave me!" at my television. It was like watching the last episode of "Cheers" all over again.

* I don't have a lot of friends on XBox Live, so I don't know how useful the extra sort options are. I can see the benefits of alphabetizing, though, if someone has a hundred people on that list; it's just never occurred to me that the Friends List view needed any updating.

* Still waiting to see how Avatar Awards works out, since I have yet to earn any. Of course, given my history with achievements, this could go into the "Bad" category real fast.

The "Whuh?"

* Richard Linklater's Slacker appears under the "Classics" heading of Netflix browsing, right between Hitchcock's Dial 'M' For Murder and Peter Medak's The Ruling Class. I have no comments here; that just struck me as odd.

Three Shortcuts Game Designers Should Stop Taking

2009-08-06T23:27:00.006-05:00

Everyone who creates something wants to make it the best they can. But sometimes, whether due to limitations in time or resources or plain laziness, shortcuts must be taken. In the case of video games, most shortcuts go unnoticed, and sometimes they even work out for the best, as in the case of Silent Hill’s iconic, draw-distance-concealing fog. But for every over-wise teenager trying to get home before his parents, there is an unscrupulous electrical engineer creating a recipe for disaster.

Here are three shortcuts game designers take that they really shouldn’t, and what they might try instead.

1. Bosses So Nice You Fight ‘Em Twice

I haven’t actually seen this one in a while, but it still bears repeating, and anyone who went through the uncompromising gauntlet at the end of Viewtiful Joe knows what I mean. Not satisfied with your ability to defeat these bosses once, the creators of that game made you fight them all again. Right in a row. Without letting you save between them. It’s enough to make a person rage-quit. Which I did, after my seventeenth failure, and now that’s the only thing I remember about the game.

It’s not just Viewtiful Joe, of course. Hell, even The Wind Waker fell victim to the Siren Song of Do-It-Again. I suppose the point might be to build up some tension leading up to the final boss fight, but isn’t that kind of what the rest of the game is supposed to be about? Then again, it might also be about artificially adding length and difficulty to a game considered to be too short, but that’s like putting extra potatoes in a breakfast burrito: it is bland, tasteless filler that only causes one to get fed up more quickly.

What they might try instead: Make the final boss harder. Or add one more boss before the final boss. Or hey, just cut out the rehash. It’s simpler, cheaper, faster, and nobody will miss it.

2. George Lucas Morality

Obi-Wan Kenobi once said that “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” Well, not really; one of the cornerstones of the Star Wars series is that the Jedi are totally good and the Sith are pure dag-nasty evil. Light Side, Dark Side. There is no Gray Side.

And so it is in games, as well. This has actually been discussed a lot lately, with the release of games like Infamous and the upcoming release of Mass Effect 2, and people seem to be in agreement: there are more nuanced ways to handle morality than making gamers choose between taking a box full of kittens to an orphanage for blind children, and eating the kittens, then burning down the orphanage and salting the earth so that nothing will grow there again.

What they might try instead: The consensus seems to be to make morality more fluid, and less stark. Give players choices with actual consequences, both good and bad, that may not be immediately apparent. But also, let’s not forget about the object that has single-handedly kept realistic moral choices at bay: the Morality Meter.

Every game that employs morality as a play mechanic, at least in recent years, has had some kind of Morality Meter that reduces player choices to numbers on a scale. Did you give some money to a homeless person? The Morality Meter goes up three points. Did you explode a busload of nuns? The Morality Meter goes down two points. Not only does a Morality Meter oversimplify complex actions, it also ensures that each choice a player makes occurs in a vacuum, in which one’s decision to stab an old lady can be “cancelled out” if followed immediately by a trip to the park to feed the ducks. At the park, nobody is saying, “Isn’t that the guy who just stabbed your grandma? What does he want with those ducks?” They’re saying, “Aww…he loves those ducks so much.” Kill a hundred innocent people in Fable 2, then give a million gold to a beggar and you’ll see what I mean.

So please…get rid of the Morality Meter. Give us something real.

3. Hobbit Game Design

Also known as "There-and-Back-Again" Design, in Hobbit games it is not enough to go from Point A to Point B to Point C and then done; instead, the game takes players from A to C, then back to B to pick up anything they might have missed, and then returns them to C to deal with the trouble there, and then, seemingly for the hell of it, sends them all the way back to A to open that Mysterious Door they walked by during the tutorial. But only after a quick stop at the hitherto unmentioned Point D to pick up the key.

This is not much of a problem in open-world games, which are all about exploring and becoming familiar with a persistent and well-trod environment, but some of the most beloved games in recent memory have succumbed to Running Out of Levels Syndrome.

Halo has a lot going for it, but there is no denying that at a certain point in the game, it forces players to turn around and go back from whence they came until they end up pretty much exactly where they started. Sure, there was some stuff on fire on the way back that was not on fire on the way out, but they were the same areas, leading to the same places. For all their innovation, the makers of Halo only made half a map.

Metroid Prime 3 almost get a pass here because it is a fairly open experience, but it is a bit much near the end when the proceedings grind to a halt while the player revisits every planet to collect hidden fuel cells. This is, in fact, not much different from having to fight all of the bosses again, except that it takes quite a bit longer and is, in several important ways, less fun.

What they might try instead: Trim the fat. There is nothing wrong with making a short, linear game if what is in there is worth playing. If the world is small, fill the space between Points A and B with fun things to do, but keep it moving forward. Likewise, if a game is more open, let it feel that way. Don’t make gamers return to places because they have to; let them return because they want to.

Thoughts? Additions? I’d love to hear them.

Ripped From Tomorrow's Headlines

2009-07-30T22:33:00.012-05:00

First a note:

In addition to my regular Friday posts on this blog, I will also start contributing to Bitmob in the future. Those posts will probably be less regular (or maybe just less predictable) than these, and I may engage in reposting if I write something here that I am particularly proud of, or if I run out of ideas. But basically I'll still be here, but you can check me out there too. And if I haven't posted anything, there's plenty of other good stuff to read.

And now, on with the show.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Nintendo Announces Next Console

Company promises "First gaming experience for absolutely everyone"

KYOTO, Japan - Videogame giant Nintendo, manufacturers of the immensely popular Wii console, shocked the industry this week by announcing that it was nearing completion of an entirely new platform. Known internally as "Excalibur," the new hardware was unveiled Thursday morning amidst fanfare, hooplah, and stunned silence.

"I am pleased to announce the next revolution in videogames," said Nintendo president Satoru Iwata, once the dozens of white doves released at his entrance were rounded up. "With this console, we have finally realized our goal of creating a game experience with no obstacles, no barriers to entry. This is truly the first gaming experience for absolutely everyone."

To demonstrate his point, Iwata then lifted a white sheet covering the table beside him to reveal the hardware itself, which looks like a large single-slot toaster with an enormous red button on it.

"The Wii allowed us to create game experiences that brought people together like never before," Iwata continued. "But it wasn't perfect. Some people were still turned off by complicated motion controls and difficult objectives. This new system has neither. In fact, it has no controller at all. The days of having to hold something in your hand to have a meaningful entertainment experience are over. All you have to do is place the software into the console, press the button, and watch the game play itself. No pressure. No need to think. Just you."

Iwata then concluded, saying, "Please allow me to introduce you to the Nintendo Yoo."

In the Q&A that followed, Iwata explained the console's unconventional name (which, in a step up from the name of the current Nintendo console, is pronounced exactly as it is spelled): "Yoo is the next step in entertainment for everyone. Yoo will provide experiences that anyone, regardless of age, gender, physical ability, or vitality, can enjoy. Wii accomplished a lot, but now it's all about Yoo."

Nintendo also announced several dozen titles for the Yoo, all of which will be available at launch. Among them were Thimble Adventures, Book of Poko: The Movie: The Game, and Ninjabread Man 2: The Breadening. However, the biggest shock of the day came when Iwata announced that Nintendo had just signed a deal with Kojima Productions to bring a new version of last year's blockbuster Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots exclusively to the Yoo.

Metal Gear Solid 4: Superfluous will feature dozens of hours of increasingly ridiculous cutscenes and absolutely no gameplay. Hideo Kojima joined Iwata onstage to present the game.

"The future has become the present, and will soon be the past," Kojima said. "It is time for all of us to create a new future, before the old future becomes the new present. This game will do that. Also, it will grant wishes to the pure of heart."

Kojima concluded, "Yoo who? Yoo. That's who," before leaping twenty feet into the air and disappearing behind a roof beam.

We contacted top names in the gaming industry for their thoughts on Nintendo's announcement.

Justin McElroy, Joystiq: "First Demo Play, now this. Nintendo's an effing joke. Why didn't they just make a DVD player? Oh, wait. They did."

Mark Rein, Epic Games: "Fuck this casual shit. Epic is never making games for that system...what do you mean, nobody asked us to?"

Tim Schafer, Double Fine: "Who gave you this number?"

John Davison, What They Play: "My kids think this is the stupidest thing they've ever seen. And they've played Wii Music."

Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime could not be reached for comment, possibly because he could not hear us asking for his thoughts from atop his enormous pile of money.

Representatives from industry rivals Microsoft and Sony held a joint press conference Thursday afternoon, at which they said that they "Wish Nintendo luck in their new venture." They then stood silently on stage for several seconds before bursting into laughter and enthusiastically high-fiving each other.

In the Beginning...

2009-07-23T22:02:00.007-05:00

...I purchased a subscription to the Official US Playstation Magazine. And it was good. But then there came a time when OPM was no more, and so my subscription was transferred to Electronic Gaming Monthly.

And it was also good.

But lo, time passed, and I found my subscription was about to lapse, so I went online and filled out a renewal. And I thought it was good.

And then the magazine shut down.

Then came much wailing and gnashing of teeth, and questions about what exactly was going to happen to my twenty dollars, which EGM had already charged to my credit card though there were but few days between my renewal and the announcement of the UGO buyout. But those questions went unanswered, and the twenty dollars were feared to be lost forever.

And there came a time when I went unto my mailbox, to discover what it had for me, and behold! it had a copy of Maxim. And I asked my mailbox Why do you give me this? And the mailbox was silent, because silence is its wisdom.

So I looked at the cover of Maxim, which featured boobies, and it was revealed unto me that my magazine subscription had been transferred once more, and I thought briefly that there must certainly be some very pissed-off female gamers standing at their mailboxes just that moment. And I felt a great sadness.

And so I knew that I had been visited by a great Evil, and that I must cast it hence, and so I went inside and attempted to locate a toll-free number inside the magazine, which featured even more boobies. And hark! the number was found, and so I took up my phone and I dialed the one, and the eight, and the zero, and the second zero, and all the numbers that followed, and spoke with a representative in Subscription Services.

And I explained unto her that I had subscribed to EGM, and had then been subscribed to Maxim, and that I did not want to be subscribed to Maxim, and she said We will mail you a refund, and I said Thank you, and then I cast the unwanted magazine down to live amongst the rest of the recycling, until such time as I would take it up and go down the street and place it in the appropriate bin for collection.

More time passed, and one day I went unto my mailbox again to discover what it had for me, and behold! it had a check for twenty-four dollars.

And there was much rejoicing.

Gaming Maladies, Part Three: Save-itis

2009-07-16T22:22:00.008-05:00

Save-itis (n.) - Mental inflammation caused by exposure to games with faulty save systems. Carriers of Save-itis are usually identified by the following symptoms:

1.) Excessive distance between save points.

2.) Long levels with no checkpoints.

3.) Lack of autosave.

4.) Refusal to let the player save whenever he or she damn well wants to.

Provided Save-itis is diagnosed quickly and all blunt/sharp objects are removed from the patient's vicinity, the disease is quite treatable, and has a nearly 95% survival rate. Effective treatments include meditation, software transfusions, and going outside.

Modern science has identified three types of Save-itis:

Type A: Software-Driven Save-itis (aka "Effing Bullcrap!" Save-itis)

Type-A Save-itis occurs after a gamer is exposed to software exhibiting any combination of the characteristics listed above. These are games that, through incompetence of design or overconfidence in the abilities of their players, either fill the spaces between save points with tasks of varying degrees of impossibility, or make these spaces so wide that a player cannot successfully navigate them without a good night's sleep, a case of energy drinks, and a colostomy.

Other carriers of Type-A Save-itis force players to go so far out of their way to save their progress that the act of saving becomes inconvenient, and players are forced to either play the same portion of the game over and over, or yo-yo back and forth between missions and save points. When made to pick between these two options, many players choose to play a different game.

Side effects include paranoia, swearing, fidgeting, and keeping multiple save files "just in case".

Known carriers of Type-A Save-itis include: Dark Cloud 2, the Final Fantasy series, Gears of War.

Type B: Peripheral-Driven Save-itis (aka "I Just Cleared Space a Month Ago" Save-itis)

The advent of the removable memory unit created an altogether new strain of Save-itis which rose up due to the variable requirements of software upon these cards. Perhaps the most tragic type of Save-itis due to its ease of prevention, Type-B Save-itis rears its ugly head when a gamer realizes, whether though ignorance or temporary stupidity, that there is not enough space on his or her memory card.

Occurrences of this kind of Save-itis may strike at any time, and are often terrifying. Fortunately, this type has been mostly eradicated by the introduction of external disk drives.

Type C: User-Driven Save-itis ("What Time is It?" Save-itis)

Simultaneously the most irritating and educational form of Save-itis, Type-C Save-itis occurs when a gamer, through no fault of either the game or its memory requirements, simply neglects to save for hours at a time, and then gets their character killed. Completely preventable, Type-C Save-itis says to reckless gamers that life is as fleeting and insubstantial as the wind; that every moment is precious; and that one's triumphs and failures should be commemorated and celebrated for they combine, like Voltron, to constitute the entire substance of their beings.

It also says, "Save your game, dipshit."

Gaming Maladies, Part Two: Plot Apathy

2009-07-09T23:34:00.008-05:00

In this installment of Gaming Maladies, I'm going to examine a phenomenon that has resulted in me putting down far too many games, never to return: simply not giving a shit.

And by "not giving a shit," I don't mean that I don't care if I win or lose, or that I don't care enough to put the time into the game to get better if I get stuck on a difficult part. I mean, more specifically, that I find the characters or plot (or both) so boring, annoying, or completely average that I literally don't care what happens. If every major character suddenly burst into flames, and the in-game world was revealed to be made entirely of cheese curdled from the fetid milk of Yog-Sothoth (is Yog-Sothoth milkable? Does it matter?), I would be no more interested than I was before I put down the controller. Mainly because I totally saw that coming.

So what I'm saying is that I have stopped playing games for the same reason other people stop reading books. Obviously this does not enter in when I'm playing something like Tetris or Peggle (what is the unicorn's motivation, anyway?!), but if a game wants me to "inhabit" a "character", while he or she does "stuff", then either the character or the stuff needs to be interesting. I prefer both, but I am realistic. I have forgiven shoddy gameplay in the interests of plot (Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth), and I have sat through mind-leakingly bad plots because the game was fun (just about everything Capcom releases). But I have occasionally encountered plots so bad or boring that it didn't matter how fun the game was, I just had to walk away. These include, but are not limited to:

1.) The Darkness - I knew there was going to be trouble the first time I saw and heard the main character at the same time. If you've never played this game, the guy looks like Bradford Tatum in The Stoned Age, but sounds like Michael Madsen doing an impression of Joe Mantegna. These two things do not go together. Now the gameplay in The Darkness is not bad, by any means (although I have a bit of a soft spot for games in which your character has tentacles, and I think this will be reflected in the game I am currently developing, Cosmic Squid vs. The Octopods), but the plot did not grab me. I'd try to describe it, but the only thing I remember is that Hell is World War I. It's a pretty bad sign for a game when I realize that I'd rather just go back and watch the rest of To Kill a Mockingbird.

2.) Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots - I did finish MGS4, but this is one of the few games I actually regret finishing because the payoff was so small (hi, Jak and Daxter). By the second or third ending I was wishing everyone would die, and I'm pretty sure that's not what Hideo Kojima was going for (or was he?! Actually, no, it isn't; he only wants you to think he's a postmodern genius. It turns out he's just a Butt Guy). Honestly, I was hoping that everyone would die in the first ending, both because that would have kept the next five endings from happening and because that would have been a pretty effective way to end the series. But sadly, Kojima loves his characters too much to let them die. So much, in fact, that he renders Meryl and Akiba essentially bulletproof. Seriously, they get shot like forty times each and live. That's bullshit.

3.) Jade Empire - I only remember two things about Jade Empire: there were demons that looked like horses but walked like men, and there were no lightsabers. Other than that, I'm going to go way out on a limb and guess that you were trying to save the world.

What I'm getting at with all of this is that plot is becoming a more important component of videogames, and it's gotten so that we can discuss games like we used to discuss books or movies, but with more dead hookers. Or fewer, depending on what you read. But I think that we've reached a point at which plot is at least as crucial for certain genres as controls and handling, and I think developers would be stupid not to devote equal attention to both. For every Uncharted, there are five Gears of Wars (Gearses of War? That's tricky), and I hope one day it becomes the rule that gameplay and graphics are nothing without a meaningful context.

But I am realistic.

Next week: Save-itis.

Gaming Maladies, Part One: Open-World Paralysis

2009-07-03T19:03:00.008-05:00

My Pile of Shame these days is not as bad as it has been in the past, but that might be because I have arbitrarily removed all last-gen games from it and moved them into a new pile, which I will call my Pile of Let Us Never Speak of This Again.

Recently I've been playing Far Cry 2, and because part of me really hates the other part I've been trying to do as much as humanly possible with it. That means finding all of the suitcases with diamonds, completing all cell tower missions, destroying all weapon convoys, rescuing all buddies, unlocking all safe houses, scouting all guard posts, and, when I have time for it, completing all story missions. But really, who has time for that? You know, doing the part of the game that is necessary to completion.

What has curbed my progress in Far Cry 2 more than anything is the knowledge that once I wring all content out of the nine square kilometers of beautiful hi-def Africa in which I am currently operating, there is another nine square kilometers of beautiful hi-def Africa yet to come. And then this whole sick dance starts all over.

It's not that I don't enjoy the game; it's just that there's so much of it. And for some reason when I have too much I can do, I end up not doing anything at all. This is one way that open-world games result in paralysis. The other way is through the fear that despite all of my hours of toil, no matter how many maps I print out and mark with elaborate runes, no matter how painstaking my notes and methods and reading of FAQs gets, I will miss something. Something small. And then I will have to start all over again. I will become Sisyphus, except without all the exercise.

I could move on to one of the other games in my Pile, but guess what they are? GTA4 and Mass Effect. And they come with exactly the same problems. And hey, guess what? I'm planning on getting the Game of the Year Edition of Fallout 3. Why do I do this?

Because I enjoy it, that's why. I don't know if I have OCD or just straight-up hate myself, but I actually like games that demand so much of my attention and require me to do the same thing over and over for 100% completion. If you look at my Gamercard (MUEvan), this point is proven again and again:

1.) All achievements in Bully, even after I spent three days riding around on my go-kart trying to activate errands before I realized that I needed to go and spend fifteen minutes doing boxing matches.

2.) All achievements in LEGO Indiana Jones; LEGO games are the epitome of lather, rinse, repeat.

3.) 100% completion in LEGO Star Wars; see above.

4.) Found all 300 flags in Assassin's Creed.

5.) Found all 1001 Light Seeds in Prince of Persia, AND fought the same guy five times in a row to unlock all of the combos.

6.) Unlocked all combat-based achievements in The Force Unleashed; this involved, among other things, Force-Choking Wookiee after Wookiee for upwards of thirty-five minutes, and then switching to Saber Throws. And then Force Pushes. And so on.

7.) Completed the "Little Rocket Man" achievement in The Orange Box, which involves playing through almost all of Half-Life 2: Episode 2 carrying around a garden gnome without losing it. And, like the One Ring, the little bastard wants to be lost.

I share these things not to impress anyone (because they won't), but because they illustrate half of my problem: the half in which I feel compelled to do these things. The other half is that I don't want to, and I think this is where the Paralysis sets in; it is a mechanism through which I attempt to keep myself from spending my life hunting down Agility Orbs.

And of course, it doesn't work all the time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go play Far Cry 2.

An inspired addition

2009-06-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

Ahh, my young gamer friend

The times are changing with no foreseeable end

Fanboys unite to gripe and moan

But they forget how the real world goes

The unwillingness to change in all the progress

Leaves them alone operating in Linux

But I digress

So unite one and all

For the games are changing

Technology is making gaming as easy as bouncing a ball

But keep them true all mighty makers

Or an uprising of young and old gamers will be called

We want games of challenge and intellect

With utopian graphics and no white Pong ball

In depth story lines which entrance all that play

Make the games rain like the autumn leaves in the fall

We want the best any man and machine can produce

Then we gamers will continue in the never-ending brawl

But let us not forget the true classic gamer

Some are too young to know life with 2-d games

We embrace the games of old with all our hearts

Where we came from is true art

As we push forward into the new and rising sun

Look back and remember our fading sons

Sing Along If You Know It.

2009-06-25T22:23:00.009-05:00

Come gather 'round gamers, whatever you own

Because pretty soon Nintendo will not be alone

This motion-control thing's a bit overblown

And your arms are gonna be wavin'.

So you better start flailin' or you're gonna get pwned

For the games, they are a-changin'.

Come fanboys on forums who bitch, moan, and blame

Get up off your sofas; it won't be the same.

But don't post too soon, we've not seen many games

And you've got to know who you are flamin'.

So get out your thesauri and flip 'em to "lame"

For the games, they are a-changin'.

Draw a picture for Milo who lives in your tube

Then make awkward gestures and feel like a rube

Or a loser, a jackass, a spazz, or a boob

Your dignity, it ain't worth savin'

And teh l33tz0r now will be later the n00b

For the games, they are a-changin'.

Come Alpha Moms and grandmas who didn't use to play

And pay no attention to what those kids say

For the future is wagglin' and casual's okay

And controllers can be so restrainin'.

But Molyneux says that the pad's in the way

So the games, they are a-changin'.

The demos are shown, the pods they are cast

The quarterly goals will soon be surpassed

And the current-gen will later be last-

While the hardcore will just go on ragin'

'Cause soon you'll have minigames coming out your ass

For the games, they are a-changin'.

Repeating Myself.

2009-06-18T22:39:00.013-05:00

Unfortunately, it has been one of those weeks, so the following is a touched-up reprint of something from my long-neglected Live Journal. Hopefully next week will be better.

As a giant nerd, I can't help but notice how often Pandora's Box has appeared in videogames recently. I also can't help but notice how much the myth has to be changed, if not wholesale ignored, in order to cram the thing into a game. So to start out, here's the original story.

After Prometheus created mankind and taught them long division, Hephaestus created Pandora as part of Zeus' overly-elaborate scheme to punish mankind. A less passive-aggressive god might have sent an earthquake or a plague or a tidal wave, but Zeus realized that jacking up our species now and forever "take-a panache". He therefore set the following events into motion:

1.) Hephaestus creates Pandora.

2.) Gods shower Pandora with extravagant gifts, spoiling her stupid. Included in these is a box (okay, Wikipedia douche, it was a jar. But the important bit is that it was a thing that holds stuff) into which each of them has placed something horrible; it was kind of like in movies when a kitchen crew spits on a steak before sending it back out to the customer who complained about it. Anyway, Zeus tells her never to open it.

3.) Prometheus warns his brother Epimetheus not to accept any gifts from Zeus.

4.) Zeus sends Pandora and her Cursed Thing of Holding to Epimetheus, kind of like a gift.

5.) Epimetheus goes, "Oh, hell yeah!" and marries Pandora.

6.) Pandora gets curious about the Cursed Thing of Holding and opens it, releasing Greed, Vanity, Slander, Lying, Envy, and Pining into the world. Luckily she manages to get the lid back on before Hope gets out. Whew! That was close.

7.) Hilarity ensues.

With plans like that, Zeus may have been the first Bond villain, as well as the only successful one. Pandora's Box, like my high school yearbooks, is best left unopened. However, it has already been opened. Logically, it can cause no more harm to us, other than possibly getting Hope all over the place.

"Not so," say the makers of videogames. "We can milk that bitch out."

So we have this:

According to God of War, opening Pandora's Box turns you into a giant. And then you fight Ares, who has inexplicably grown back-spinies which shoot fireballs. But the important thing is that it makes you bigger. Why does the Ark of Misery do this? Who the hell knows? But we must remember that this is a game in which there are waaaaaaay more than three Gorgons and Satyrs are masters of the bo staff.

What's next? Madness!

Devil May Cry 4 contains a weapon called "Pandora" which features 666 different shit-stomping configurations of increasingly implausible bad-assitude. The game also settles that whole box-vs.-jar debate once and for all by making Pandora a suitcase. And, simultaneously, a can.

Granted, this is not the literal Cursed Thing of Holding; it's more of a tribute. Surely, if in the myth Pandora had taken the lid off and been blasted in the face by a Neon Death Ray, the story would lose all meaning but become about a thousand times more awesome.

This brings me to my final, most recent example of what happens when videogame developers can't leave Pandora's Box alone (funny how many levels that works on): Legendary.

According to this game, Pandora's Box contains legions of werewolves, gryphons, and minotaurs, all of which are begging for a shotgun blast to the face. I don't know what else to say about that, other than "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" It also bears mentioning that at the beginning of the game, Pandora's Box is in a museum.

My point with all of this is not that these are bad games, or that the ideas are stupid (except for the whole Pandora's-Box-in-a-museum-thing; that's downright criminal). I'm just wondering why Pandora's Box is showing up so often and doing so many different things, especially considering that the original myth is about as boring as they get. It would be like if they decided to start making games about Thor's codpiece (but not Thor), in which the codpiece can fire lasers, grant wishes, and be removed to open doors by reflecting light into crystals. Or if the Sword of Damocles was a lightsaber.

Game developers don't read this blog, do they? I may have just unleashed great evils upon the world. Kind of fitting, in a way.

-Evan

**EDIT: I have replaced the non-working videos with working ones.

For Reals This Time

2009-06-12T17:16:00.005-05:00

Listeners of the Joystiq Podcast may have heard them read my e-mail congratulating JC Fletcher for receiving an E3 Award. So thanks be to Joystiq for rewarding shameless pluggery with a quick site mention. I guess I'm actually going to have to buy someone a beer now.

The title of my post this week is "What Hollywood Doesn't Know About Videogames Could Fill the Grand Effing Canyon," and all evidence to this point is contained within a single movie trailer.

Since it's not entirely fair to judge a film based solely on its trailer (although that did keep me from seeing the Silent Hill movie), I will not be making any guesses as to the quality of Gamer. However, having watched that trailer, I feel confident in declaring that the following two points constitute what Hollywood thinks it knows about videogames:

1.) Videogames are exclusively about shootin' and killin', and gamers will eventually become the New Gladiators.

2.) Videogames blur the lines between fantasy and reality, until eventually we will not know what is real and what is not, and it will be like totally crazy, man.

In fact, the plot of Gamer sounds like it came from the head of someone who faded in and out of consciousness while drinking cough syrup and watching a movie marathon on the SciFi Channel. It is equal parts eXistenZ, The Running Man,, and this Onion article.

Granted, a film based on, say, Noby Noby Boy, would be very difficult to make, and may even qualify as a hate crime. But who says that actiony, shooty games are the only ones that make sense for TV and movies?

And sometimes they don't even make sense. Remember that episode of "The X-Files" where the kid who played Donkeylips on "Salute Your Shorts" and his testosterone-laden buddies go into the virtual-reality first-person shooter game and get killed by the cyber-dominatrix who was programmed by the shy nerd woman to exact revenge upon her male coworkers for appreciating neither her talent nor her mousy not-hot hotness?

Seriously. That's what happened.

There has to be a middle ground between Tetris: The Movie and Let's Go Kill Some Dudes, right? Because there are games that exist between those two extremes. Hollywood's treatment of videogames as a plot element seems limited to either "Videogames will ruin everything," or "Videogames are for lazy boy-men." And the only thing that determines which of these will be used is whether or not the movie is a comedy.

In fact, I can only think of one film that has handled videogames in a fair, non-violent, and realistic way, and features gameplay that accurately represents what we see in our own homes, and not some pixelated, blocky-gon crap cooked up by an underpaid, overworked special effects team. Only one film has captured both the positive and negative effects of gaming on people of all ages. This film is smart enough, sure enough, and brave enough to declare that people from all walks of life, all genders and backgrounds, can come together under this hobby we love so much. It puts its foot down and says, "No! Videogames are not just for boys and men with no necks! Videogames are fun! Videogames are for everyone! And yes...videogames can capture your heart and mind while crippling your hands. And you know what else? They may just save your damn family, too."

Here's the bad news: that film was a hundred-minute-long commercial for Nintendo.

All I'm saying is that I think we can do better than The Wizard. I don't think that's too much to ask.

-Evan

Pardon My Mess...

2009-06-12T01:45:00.002-05:00

I'm sure that all of you just leapt from your beds and bounded over to your respective computers, anxious to see what kind of random bullshit I'd come up with this week, but I have some bad news:

Nothing I've started writing tonight has been any good.

So you get this. Later on today I'll try to have something more substantial, but in the meantime here's my favorite trailer from E3. Enjoy.

-Evan

Video Games | The Last Guardian | E3 09: Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Buttons and Controllers

2009-06-10T15:49:00.003-05:00

So it will be a little while before we actually get to our show on this, but it's been on my mind more and more lately. Anyone who listens to the show on a regular basis knows that none of us are really fans of the idea that something like the iPhone can be a "legitimate" portable gaming device, something that can rival the PSP or the DS. While the iPhone and other phones like it certainly have their place in mobile gaming, there is something to be said for having physical buttons on a device - buttons that you can actually *feel* when you push them.

The same concept applies to this new fad of motion-controlled gaming. Microsoft, with their Project Natal, has even gone so far as to infer that the controller is a hindrance to gaming. This page uses the phrase "No Controller Required", as if the controller is something that we shouldn't have to use - or even buy.

While I'll be the first to admit that the idea of gaming in a holodeck would be the "ultimate" videogame, I'll also be the first to say that I believe there will always be a place in the market for "traditional" games. I use that word with quotes because I'm a little worried that in the next five or ten years, gaming as we know it could take a drastic change away from controllers and buttons, and turn towards direct interaction gaming where we touch everything, or control everything simply by our own, natural movements.

Is the technology cool? Absolutely. Do we necessarily want to have it? Probably. But do we really need to have the attitude that we've been playing games *wrong* for the past 30 years, and that we shouldn't be limited by buttons and controllers? Absolutely not. I'll gladly replace my GameBoy Micro and my Nintendo DS once I can get two things from my cell phone: deep, interactive, engaging gaming experiences, and tactile feedback. Games that put a pseudo D-pad on a touchphone's screen simply won't cut it - ever.

As far as console gaming goes, I think we all have a dream of being able to actually *experience* our games holodeck-style. Both Sony's Magic Wand and Microsoft's Project Natal are undoubtedly baby steps towards this future of gaming, and it's going to be awesome, but I think there will always be a time where you'll just want to plop down in a chair in front of Frank's 2000" TV with a controller in your hands and just play a game the way we've all been playing as long as we've been alive.

Bring on the future, absolutely, but at the same time: Long Live the Controller!

-Phil

Greed sucks.

2009-06-09T18:13:00.003-05:00

So some of you may have listened to our E3 show already. Some of you may have not. First of sorry we didn't get all 3 covered. I'm sure we'll find a way to squeeze a middle show in with coverage of Sony's Glowing Orbs. Also I'm sorry we failed to talk about this.

Now as great as the ability to download full games directly to your hard drive might be I see a few problems with the concept. My three biggest problems are the cost, the size, and the selection. Let's look at this bit by bit.

1. Cost

Okay first and foremost we've talked about this on shows before. Games are expensive. They always have been and probably always will be. In looking at this before I got into it I found this wonderful article from Forbes that breaks down a brand new game's cost breakdown. Hopefully you all will actually look at that because I don't intend to summarize for you. The thing about this new service though is we aren't talking new games going to retail. Much like the Virtual Console we are talking old, already developed games. Yes these are slightly newer than Duck Hunt, but many of the same questions still emerge. Why would I pay $19.99 to download a copy of Mass Effect with no manual, box, or disc when I can go to the store and for the same price pick up, FOR THE SAME PRICE, a full retail copy of the game. No matter how you breakdown the cost of a game (greed) it is cheaper to sell me a file than a physical version of the media. You wouldn't buy MP3's if you could by the CD for cheaper or the same price. It wouldn't make sense.

2. Size

So again I found a cool article to help my point here. The only thing is it is old. Like 360 launch old. This isn't really to bad a thing though. We aren't talking new games at launch of this download service. When we look at this information we can see that full games are going to take up a LOT of space. Now at this point none of the systems has a great setup for handling extra storage space. For whatever insane reason (greed) no one will let you hook up an external hard drive to your system. Hell with the 360 you can't even buy just a off the shelf notebook hard drive like the PS3 or SD cards like the Wii. At least in both of those you have some control. With the 360 you are stuck once you run out of space. It's a new hard drive or nothing. And even those are limited. If you go nuts on XBLA or through this new download service the biggest hard drive they have could go pretty darn quick. 120 GB isn't much with files running 4 GB plus a piece.

In their defense though we haven't been told how big these files will be or how they are working this service. I'm also not factoring in whether or not you use the current ability to store parts of your game to the drive to help them load faster. This eats space too. But as someone who is already having space issues on his PS3 this concept scares me.

3. Selection

I touched on this previously in this article but now I'll flesh it out completely. There isn't much information on what 30 games are going to be included, but this article gives a breakdown of what is confirmed. Not an impressive list is it? Now the Virtual Console take s advantage of our need for nostalgia. I don't think anyone is nostalgic for games released in the last 2 years. Especially not that you can pick up cheaper used or for the same price new. We're not talking Mario RPG here. Microsoft MIGHT have a rental service out of this and they MIGHT have newer games at some point. I mean honestly though. Is someone going to jump to use this service to buy a game that has been available this long just because they can download it now? I just don't see this selection causing people to jump for joy.

So yeah. Not really a thrilling announcement. I just can't see this being the next big thing. Old games (not classic, there is a difference), retail pricing, and limited space. So why do it? The only answer I could come up with is greed. Maybe they'll throw out something about "green", but the only people benefiting from these are those due to make the extra money from lack of packaging, distribution, and retail fees. This isn't benefiting us the gamer in any way. So once again greed (or good business as the industry would call it) rears it's ugly head. Here's hoping that rental service comes out of this. Now THAT I could go for.

-John

And Now, Introducing. . .

2009-06-05T00:27:00.002-05:00

Ok, first of all, sorry this is late. I was supposed to post this on Wednesday, but 1. I’ve been a bit busy, and 2. I had not finished watching the E3 press conferences. Well, I’ve got a break and I’ve finished seeing the announcements of the big three. I pretty much have one thing to say: OH. MY. GOD.
Now, here’s the thing, all three console manufacturers made some major announcements. And most of them (PSP Go not withstanding) came out of the blue. On the flip side of that, I’d say there were some . . . questionable announcements made.
I have to admit, everyone made some promises that I’m looking forward to. Some things I can’t wait to try. Then there are those things I’m trying to forget I saw.
Sorry, you won’t get my thoughts here; I’m saving that for the show. We would, however, like to here yours. Please answer a few questions for us to tell us what you thought.

1. Was there an announcement that, even though it was not leaked, you had a hunch would be said?

2. Was there a game demoed that you think will make you purchase a console you don’t own? If you own all of them, was there a game demoed or announced that will make you ignore the others?

3. Are there any attachments you’re looking forward to? Why or why not?

4. Do you think any of the presenters looked/ sounded bad on stage?

5. Out of everything said this last week, what was the one thing that made your jaw drop?

6. Is one-to-one motion finally here? If so, what do you think? If not, why?

7. Ok, overall, who wins?

If you have any additional comments about E3, please, let us know. We’ll do everything we can to share your comments on the show.

Shock the World!

Drew

E3 Awards 2009 (or, I'm Lazy, So Here's a List)

2009-06-04T21:52:00.019-05:00

1.) The Giant Blue Ball Award (best game not out until 2010) - God of War 3

The thing about God of War's "hero" Kratos is that he's an a-hole. Not the kind of a-hole who will make fun of your favorite shirt and then buy you a beer to show that he's "only kidding," but a real a-hole. He's the kind of guy who will make fun of your favorite shirt and then murder you, but not before he murders your entire family and eats your dog, all the while complaining about how much he has been wronged.

Still, though...did you see that gameplay footage? I never realized how much I've wanted to stab something with its own horns.

2.) The "oz-WEE-pay" Johnson Award (most unfortunately-titled game) - Women's Murder Club

It's probably best if I don't go into what kind of images the title of this game conjured in my sick, sick mind, especially once I learned that it's coming out on the DS. Needless to say, though, they were pretty jacked up.

3.) The "Brandon from College" Award (game I really just want to go away) - Bayonetta

In the past, I have described certain Japanese franchises as "gleefully sexist." Anyone who is not sure about what I mean by that has never seen this trailer, which features the eponymous angel-slayer...and her crotch.

We're looking at three more months of footage like that before the game comes out, and then I'm sure we'll be getting some TV ads like the one for DoA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball. You remember it...the one where the guys can't even be in the same room as the game without holding pillows over their laps. I'd have posted a link to that monstrosity, but I think my computer refuses to play it. At this point, it doesn't even matter if Bayonetta is a good game or not; I can't think about it without remembering the look the cashier at Kay-Bee gave me when I bought my Sniper Wolf action figure.

4.) The Coupon for One Free Beer Award (sickest burn by a videogame writer covering E3) - JC Fletcher, Joystiq

"If we were wearing a Wii Vitality Sensor right now, would Nintendo sense that we'd fallen asleep?"

5.) The "We Had a Fantastic Second Quarter" Award (greatest accomplishment I can't make myself care about) - Motion controllers

Yeah, yeah...Sony has a wand, and Microsoft has a creepy British kid. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I have a hard time getting too worked up over tech demos. Remember that one for the PS3 where they rendered a whole lot of rubber ducks being poured into a bathtub in real time? All I could think was, "Yep...that sure is a whole lot of rubber ducks. Clearly the PS3 is leaps ahead of the PS2...in terms of ducks."

My mantra, when faced with tech demos, is this: "Where are the games?" Granted, I tend to only believe one out of every four words that come out of Peter Molyneux's oddly-shaped head. And if the Sony Wand had turned into, say, a lightsaber, instead of an MS-Paint-style blocky gun, then maybe I could have mustered up some enthusiasm. And if you really want to show how "Milo" reacts to random input, then don't show him talking about fish and then getting a sheet of paper with a fish drawn on it. Show him talking about fish and then draw something else. Then see what he does. That could be some next-level stuff.

Oh, and Motion Plus is coming out, too? Are you sure? Okay, then.

6.) The "Holy Shit, Metroid!" Award (best game that is Metroid) - Metroid: Other M

I wasn't expecting this at all. And I definitely wasn't expecting the next Metroid game to be mostly third-person. This is awesome; I can't wait to see what Team Ninja does with the franchise.

Wait a minute...

Didn't Team Ninja do DoA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball?

Shit.

Honestly, though, it looks pretty good.

-Evan

TWEET!

2009-06-01T12:10:00.002-05:00

Okay so I will have a full post later today, but for those interested I intend to use Twitter (my god why?!) to talk live about MS live press conference. Our handle is itcpodcast. Unfortunately I'm watching G4's coverage so expect something said about that too. See ya later!\

-J

Joining the Ranks

2009-05-31T20:50:00.003-05:00

So for those of you who for some reason read the blog but don't listen to or watch the show (there are those people?) my Xbox 36o finally gave me the RROD part two last Friday. I got the dreaded E71 error while playing Fallout 3. I talked about this on the show, how it had frozen once or twice in the past couple of weeks, but I didn't really think anything of it. Apparently that was just the beginning.

Lucky for me, the 360 was nice enough (after trying a trick I found here) to let me actually finish Fallout 3. It would literally freeze randomly all within two minutes or less for about a half-hour, no matter what I tried. Once I gave it a few tries of holding the sync button down while turning it on, it actually let me get back into the game and stayed strong all the way through the end credits. I suppose its fitting though. If you know anything about the ending of Fallout 3 (I won't spoil it), you know that you aren't able to continue to play once you've beaten the game. Perhaps my 360 was simply following along, since it won't even turn on at all now.

We had our second annual Wine & Wii party here last night, where a bunch of our friends get together to taste (or just outright drink) a lot of different wines and play videogames. I had a little too much of the wine and never actually made it to the basement where the 360 and Wii were hooked up, but from what I'm told, they tried to play the 360 last night for some Guitar Hero, and it wouldn't even boot up. Sad times, my friends.

Best case scenario: Microsoft will repair it under some extended "We Suck at Manufacturing Hardware" warranty clause. Worst case scenario: We have to buy an Arcade or a used 360 and just swap the hard drive. What it really means in the interim though, is that I'll start to really dive into that dozen-deep pile of games I got for Christmas for my PS2. The only one I've really played so far is Need For Speed Underground. Let me lay them out for you guys, and maybe you can recommend one for me to start with. In fact, that's what I'll do.

Here's the list of PS2 games that I have that I need to play. Remember that I am essentially a Playstation Virgin, so all PS2 games are pretty much going to be a new experience for me. You guys post in the comments whichever one you think I should start with, and whichever gets recommended the most, that'll be the one. Think of it as your job to start me off right.

Here ya go, the list:

Final Fantasy X

God of War

Grand Theft Auto III

Need For Speed: Underground (don't recommend this unless it's truly a better game to play than all of the others on this list)

Need For Speed: Underground 2

Ratchet: Deadlocked

Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando

Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal

Shadow of the Colossus

You've got a week. When we tape again on Saturday for our post E3 show, I'll declare a winner then. We'll probably hook you guys up with some swag for helping me out as well.

Game on!

-Phil

The Masters of Gao Jin Yoo.

2009-05-28T19:03:00.005-05:00

My issues with the Wii are a matter of public record, so it should come as no surprise that I have slight misgivings about the games recently released under Nintendo's New Play Control! banner. For those who don't know, and did not click on that link, New Play Control! ("NPC!") is a collection of GameCube games that have been ported to the Wii. The games feature new waggle-based controls, widescreen support, and, in some cases, new levels, but they're essentially the same game.

Does this sound familiar?

Are you sure?

Of course, the porting of older games to newer consoles is nothing new. How many versions of Street Fighter 2 do we need, anyway? That question is not rhetorical, by the way; the answer is about twenty-five. But NPC! thrusts the marketing technique known as "Buy It Yet Again To Complete Happiness" into the realm of art.

Of course, being GameCube games, these titles are already playable on the Wii, provided you bought a copy last generation or, barring that, can find a used copy now. This is probably not all that difficult. In fact, let's take speculation out of this:

1.) Donkey Kong Jungle Beat - Available, though you might have some trouble finding the bongos. Oh...wait.

2.) Pikmin - Available

3.) Mario Power Tennis - Available

Note: these links were current as of May 28.

And this is just a quick search on Google Shopping. I didn't even go to eBay or call around to any of my local used-game sellers. The fact is that these games are out there, pretty readily available, and you don't have to pay thirty dollars to look slightly stupider playing them. There is, of course, a gray zone around Jungle Beat; your options are to play the game by hitting stupid plastic bongos, or to play the game by pretending to hit stupid plastic bongos. I think the NPC! version may be one of the few console-to-console ports less immersive than the original. But the issue of greatest concern to me is the fact that these (old) games cost thirty dollars. Check those links again and do some math. I'll wait.

Done? Moving on.

So far, Nintendo's handling of NPC! has been tentative, at best; they have not released any real must-have titles, so it's hard to tell if this line is working. The real test will come in August with the release of the Metroid Prime Trilogy, which collects all three games (the third one, of course, was developed for the Wii) on a single disc for fifty bucks. But that's probably how they should have been doing this all along; if they're going to be selling updated versions of last-gen games, they'd be a lot better off bundling them up, especially if they're all first-party titles and there are no licensing issues to work out.

Although the math doesn't quite agree with me, the prospect of buying both Pikmin games for fifty dollars feels better than buying them separately for thirty. And why sell Mario Power Tennis separately when it could be bundled with Toadstool Tour and Strikers? Remember that Limited Edition Zelda disc they threw in with GameCubes that had three really good games AND The Adventure of Link? If I saw that on a shelf today, I'd buy it.

So right now, I'm not impressed. But to be honest, New Play Control! is not a bad idea. It is, however, the most recent example of Nintendo's uncanny ability to make pretty good ideas look like really bad ones.

-Evan

Dispatch from Albion

2009-05-21T22:25:00.004-05:00

Gamertag used by permission of the holder. Also, terribly-typed messages are included here as I received/wrote them.

Having completed the main storyline and unlocked all of the achievements from Fable 2, including all of the ones from the downloadable content, I wasn't sure how much more entertainment I could get from the game. And then I remembered that there is always something happening in Albion, provided one is feeling particularly brave, and has prepared for a double-barreled blast of ignorance and hostility.

Having readied myself, I went into the Game Options Screen and set my Online Orbs to "Everyone."

There are usually plenty of people in Bowerstone's Town Square, but I wasn't seeing any. I figured what I needed to do was move around a bit, so I went and got a Bounty Hunter mission and headed off to the Bower Lake Camp to kill some Hobbes.

On the way back to Bowerstone I began to see orbs, and I was so glad that my experiment (and Internet) was working that I went up to the first one I saw and gave him 50 gold. I passed another orb on the road and gave that person some Freshly-Picked Flowers. I didn't offer any explanation to either of these people, and they didn't say anything. I was very aware that what I was doing looked, to use a clinical term, balls-out crazy, but that's pretty much why I had to do it.

When I returned to Bowerstone Market, there were orbs everywhere. I gave the first one a Teddy Bear. The second one I noticed was a girl and, to avoid her thinking I was some kind of creep, I gave her some Crisp Celery. Both useful and completely devoid of romantic sentiment, it seemed like the proper gift for a strange hovering orb representing a girl I would never meet.

I gave the next orb a Toy Horse.

"A Toy Horse," my beneficiary said, chuckling.

I clicked off my Mute switch.

"Yep," I said. "And I have four more where that one came from."

The guy told me that he'd lost his save game when he downloaded the See the Future Content Pack, and now he had to start over with no money and no supplies. It was the sort of story one might hear from any panhandler, except this particular panhandler looked like a little ball with a picture of 50 Cent in it. I would have given him some money, but he floated away.

Another guy showed up asking for money, and so, to prove I wasn't heartless (although to whom I was trying to prove this I have no idea), I gave him 100,000 gold.

"Thanks...Moo-Even," he said, completely butchering my Gamertag.

"I hope that will tide you over," I replied, and, like Fitty before him, he darted away like one of those killer balls from Phantasm.

The market was getting pretty busy now; people were talking over each other trying to get dolls or legendary weapons or what they called "spare gold." Somebody started screaming obscenities, but nobody knew who it was, or what exactly he was so mad at. Walking around, I saw a guy whose Gamertag contained a racial slur, so I reported him. Then I gave him a Ragdoll, to show that there were no hard feelings.

Suddenly, someone was singing "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. Then, just as suddenly (but no less mysteriously), he stopped. Perhaps someone had murdered him; we'll never know.

Negotiations were taking place; deals were being closed. Someone said, "If you're gonna rape me, please use a condom." He received no response. There was an orb over in the corner by the bar, and it had been in the same place since I'd arrived. I sent it a Rusty Necklace and ran away.

I came to a stop in front of an orb representing someone whose Gamertag was MidnightTotoro. This struck me as incredibly cute, so I gave the orb a million gold. Immediately afterwards, I received a message from someone asking if I had a Maelstrom (which is a rare sword). I told him I did. Then I got a message from MidnightTotoro, thanking me for the gold. I responded saying she was very welcome, but I may have just made her game too easy.

The Sword Guy (I will not be using his Gamertag for several reasons, not the least of which being that it uses numbers for letters, and I'd feel stupid just typing that) sent me an offer of 500,000 gold for the sword.

"Meh," I replied.

I got a message from MidnightTotoro saying that she appreciated the help and that it was "sweet" of me. So suck on that, last three girlfriends.

A few minutes later Sword Guy responded.

"a mil then?"

"No Temple of Shadows in your game?" I replied. Then I told MidnightTotoro to go buy herself a castle or something.

Sword Guy came back: "no im good...ill trade u the enforcer for it"

"Have Enforcer," I said. "Give 500k to MidnightTotoro and it's yours."

MidnightTotoro sent me a message that yes, she would go buy a castle.

"Hang on," I replied. "More money for you."

Sword Guy went off trying to find MidnightTotoro (I like to think he was searching frantically, but I have no evidence of that), and I occupied myself by turning the safety off and sniping townspeople. A while later I noticed Sword Guy's orb darting around, and it finally stopped next to me. We stayed there for a minute, man and orb, looking like we were awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact while waiting for a bus. Finally, he just gave me the money.

"can u just give it to them" he said.

I gave him the sword. I didn't really want to, considering how much trouble this had been, and how many of my virtual wives I'd incinerated to get the thing, but the sword I had equipped was much better anyway. Also, I was getting kind of tired of talking to that guy.

I received a message from MidnightTotoro saying that, despite the fact that she was standing about two feet from where I was, she couldn't see me.

After I joined her game, and she joined my game, and I got kicked off of XBox Live, and got back in, and then left Bowerstone Market and came back, I was finally able to get her the money. In the meantime, we talked about how awkward Sword Guy was (his profile says only "BOOBIEZ!!!!"), and she informed me that the Catbus in My Neighbor Totoro has testicles. I'm going to let that last bit sink in, because if you've seen that movie and didn't notice those nuts, you're sure as hell going to catch them the next time.

And isn't all of this what we love and hate about XBox Live? It's a place in which people trade imaginary money for imaginary items. A place where men, fully-grown, will say things like, "Does anybody want to trade? I'm missing some dolls."

Sure, there are people shouting for no discernible reason, and people whose spelling makes us want to punch a kitten. But at the end of the day we're all just a bunch of nerds hanging out. We're on XBox Live because we love videogames and, in many cases, because we lack the social skills to strike up conversations in the real world. And yes, sometimes talk turns to the genitalia of animated, bus-sized cats. But that's okay, because I'd rather talk about cat-monster junk than football.

And that's what diversity means to me.

-Evan

Yes, I Read A Lot of Cracked Articles

2009-05-15T01:06:00.009-05:00

5 Completely Useless HUD Elements

Videogames, especially recently, have been divided into two groups: the HUDded, and the HUDless. Just as some HUDless games could benefit from sacrificing a "cinematic" experience for an arrow pointing where the hell we are supposed to be headed, so too might some HUDded games bear to lose some dead, stupid weight. Here are five HUD elements that we could have done without.

1. Doom's Guy Head

Doom is about shooting guys and stopping only long enough to get to the next area so you can shoot more guys. Its HUD, therefore, is pretty straight-forward. You've got your health, your ammo, your weapon selection, a picture of your guy...

Wait, what?

Yeah...right there in the middle of the HUD is a picture of your intrepid Space Marine. As you take damage, the Guy Head gets increasingly bloodied. Eventually, he looks like Bruce Willis at the end of a Die Hard movie, which, as we know, is when Bruce Willis is at his most powerful. However, the Space Marine is not Bruce Willis, and is therefore incapable of both Working Through the Pain and converting rustic, old-timey cowboy wit into ego-crushing ironic insults. In other words, Bloody = Bad.

This would actually be a pretty cool way of showing your character's health, if it wasn't for that thing you might have noticed over by the Ammo readout. See that number? The one with "Health" written below it? That's your health. And guess what? At a glance, numbers will always be more useful in these situations than Bloody Guy Heads.

Of course, that's not to say that numbers are always the answer...

2. Burnout's Speedometer

The Burnout series features cars going fast. Not just fast, but insanely fast. In fact, these cars go so damn fast that actually ascribing numbers to these speeds is mainly a matter of academic curiosity. The car in that screenshot is going 202 miles per hour, and it's in Second Place. This can only mean that the car in First Place is traveling somewhere in the neighborhood of eleventy-billion miles per hour.

When you're dealing with cars that go from zero to a hundred in under five seconds, I don't know that we really need to get too specific about velocities, especially in a race scenario, when your brain is not terribly concerned with numbers:

A. Are you going fast?

No - Go faster.

Yes - Proceed to Question B.

B. Are there cars in front of you?

No - Continue going fast.

Yes - Go faster. Proceed to Question C.

C. Are there cars behind you?

No - Go faster.

Yes - Go faster.

3. Pikmin 2's Day Counter

In the first Pikmin game, your astronaut had a limited amount of time to wrangle his tiny sprout monsters in order to obtain the parts he needed to fix his spaceship and escape from Shigeru Miyamoto's hellish garden. In Pikmin 2, however, the astronaut and the monsters can come and go as they please, taking their sweet time and leaving when they're damn well ready. So why, one might ask, does it matter how many days they've been wandering around the planet?

It does not.

While the Day Counter is not in the way (and is, in fact, transparent), its inclusion is of interest to pretty much no one. Providing the sort of information that is usually relegated to a Stat Screen in the Pause Menu, the Day Counter sits up in the corner, good for absolutely nothing but telling you how many imaginary days you have spent pretending to play outside.

4. Disaster Report's Compass Flair

A compass is usually a pretty important and useful part of a game's HUD, but Disaster Report had to go and make it stupid. There are thirty-five compasses in the game, and they are shaped like everything from a pistol to a duck to just a regular old compass (go figure). All of the compasses function exactly the same, but if you are the kind of person who insists--nay, demands!--that the way North be indicated by an apple, then Disaster Report has you covered.

5. Metal Gear Solid 3's Radar

I wasn't able to find a screenshot showing Metal Gear Solid 3's radar, and that's because the entire system is freaking useless. Sure, there was no Soliton Radar in 1964 (nor will there be in 2014, apparently), so what is made available to you is, admittedly, incredibly crappy. You have a choice between a radar with an excruciatingly slow sweep arm and a motion detector that doesn't work unless you send out an incredibly loud ping like a freaking submarine. Either way, you're better off climbing a tree and hoping that the guards get bored and go home or, better yet, that they just go and blow up the Shagohod for you before shooting themselves in the face.

This may be Hideo Kojima's way of saying, "Hey, gamer. Don't depend too much on technology. It cannot play the game for you. You have to use your eyes, and your ears, and your brain, and you know what? Use your soul, too. Because technology can give you many things, but it cannot give you a soul. That is why I have put this useless and stupid radar in this game: to teach you about your soul. And your heart. And, somehow, love. Also, while I have your attention, I should probably also tell you that nuclear weapons are bad."

Or he thought it would be funny. Either way...just leave the radar off. You'll know where the enemy guards are when they trip over you.

This list is not definitive; feel free to comment with your own additions.

-Evan

Episode #136 - Evolution of the HUD

2009-05-12T20:25:00.002-05:00

Hey there consolers,

Episode #136 of Inside The Console is coming up, scheduled to tape this weekend possibly as early as Saturday the 16th in the afternoon. As such, I figured I should put down the Guitar Hero Aerosmith and give you guys a heads-up about the topic and some questions to ponder on.

We'll be doing one of our patent-pending "Evolution Of" episodes, this time on the Heads-Up Display, or HUD for short. Chances are, you're well aware of what the term means, but just in case you've never heard of HUD in regards to gaming, it simply means the information that is always displayed on the screen to inform you of your various player stats, maps, radar, etc.

Our show will focus on the evolution of the HUD from the simple on-screen score, to much more clever implementations such as the original Turok's on-screen map or the PIP-Boy 3000, and other games that feature no HUD at all. We'll be talking about our favorites, least favorites, things we like, things we don't like, and where we think the HUD can go in the future.

Here are a few good articles to look at for this episode:
HUD on Wikipedia
Rethinking the HUD in Console Game Design

Some random questions for you all:
1. What was the first HUD that you can vividly remember as standing out to you (not necessarily in a good way) and what was it about this HUD that made you stand up and take notice?

2. What are some of your favorite and least-favorite HUDs, for whatever reason, and why do you like/hate them?

3. What do you think of the idea of HUD-less games (such as King Kong) and do you think that more games could be improved upon by having no HUD at all?

4. What's your opinion on customizable HUDs, such as the one that The Conduit is supposed to have?

Thank you all for your contributions to the show, we're looking forward to hearing from you guys on this one.

-Phil

PS: Watch the blog for something *cough* someone *cough* new, starting this Friday.

Better Late Than Never

2009-04-20T22:50:00.003-05:00

Hey Everybody,

Just a heads-up that Episode #134 on Videogame Addiction will be about a week late. John is still finishing up his voluntary twelve-step recovery program, so that we'll have something to talk about on the show, and they wouldn't let him out for a few hours so we could tape the podcast.

Don't worry, the recovery is going well and he should be out by this weekend. Well-wishes can be emailed to insidetheconsole@gmail.com and we'll be sure that he gets them.

-Phil

Episode #134 - Gaming Addiction

2009-04-13T22:19:00.003-05:00

Episode #134 is just around the corner, and we're going to do our best to talk about the issue of gaming addiction. This has been a hot topic in the news in the past few years, as it typically tries to paint gamers in a bad light, and I think it's a topic that needs discussion. The news media always tries to do its best to point fingers and so forth, so I think it's time that we take a look at this topic and see whether or not it's something that actually exists, what might be some of the side effects of gaming addiction, and what we as gamers can do about it.

I do have a few questions written below for this show, but what we'd really like to have are your opinions on the topic as a whole. Start out by Googling video game addiction and reading through what comes up. There is a lot of interesting stuff out there, and we'd like to be able to discuss as many viewpoints on the topic as we can. As usual though, here are some questions for you to ponder on:

1. Do you think that video game addiction is a genuine, serious problem? If you do, do you know someone who might be addicted to gaming, or have you felt that you might be (or have been, at one point) addicted to video games?

2. At what point do you think gaming becomes more than a hobby, more than just a past time, and turns into a full-on addiction? How much gaming, in your opinion, is too much?

3. What do you think it is about gaming that causes people to become addicted? The media, generally speaking, tends to thrive on the "games are violent, realistic, and immersive" approach - but what do you think? Are certain types of games more addictive than others, and if so, why?

4. For someone who is genuinely addicted to video games, what do you think is the best approach for helping them out? There are various "12-step" programs out there for this, such as OLGA and Video Game Addiction. Do you think these sites are successful at what they're trying to do, or is there a better approach in your opinion?

5. Finally, what do you think can be done to prevent gaming addiction from occurring in the first place? Should the games themselves have some type of built-in playtime restrictions, or should we leave this one up to the parents? What about your average college student without parental influence, for whom games are one of his only outlets - what can we do then?

Again, as I mentioned above, these are only a few of the infinite amount of questions that can be brought up for this topic, so please feel free to share any other opinions you have about the issue. If you have a story of someone you know personally that's been through gaming addiction and you want to tell us about it, go for it (just make sure you change the names and such.)

If you have your own questions that you'd like to have answered by fellow ITC listeners as well as ourselves, something that I didn't touch on above, by all means let us know and we'll post it on the blog and send it out to the mailing list so that other people can share their thoughts on your ideas.

Thanks in advance guys, I think we're all looking forward to this show.

-Phil

ITC on Flickr

2009-04-09T10:24:00.003-05:00

Thanks to the excellent response we got for our Gaming Rig episode, we've been forced to get with the times and open up a Flickr account. There's a link to it in the header bar on the top of this page, but since we're all lazy, here's another one.

Again, a big thank-you to everyone who sent in photos of your gaming rigs, and if you didn't get a chance to, feel free to still send them. We'll add your photos to the rest of our Gaming Rig set.

Also want to congratulate newcomer Glenn Connot for answering the Tetrisphere trivia question correctly. Glenn will receive a Rock Band 2 t-shirt plus whatever other swag we can fit into the package. See, it pays to answer those trivia questions people!

Game on!

-Phil

Episode #133 - Your Gaming Setup & Collection

2009-03-30T22:25:00.003-05:00

Hey All,

Welcome to the Capital Wasteland of Blogger - Inside The Console! Yeah, blog posts have been a little sparse lately, and we're all to blame, but what if it's because we've all just been gaming too much? Huh? HUH?

For Episode #133, we want to take a look at the gaming setups and collections that you guys have. I've been telling my wife for two years now that I want a Gaming Recliner(TM), but we haven't come across the right one just yet. Either that or we don't have enough room for one. Or... maybe it's because I haven't come up with a good enough "excuse" that I really, truly need to have one.

Anyway, we want to know where you sit when you game, where you stash your controllers, your games, your guides. Got a favorite gaming coaster for your soda? Got a manly blanket with matching slippers that you just *have* to have to get your frag on? Check out the heavily multi-parted questions, and feel free to chime in with any extra stuff you feel like sharing.

1. Most important question: What systems do you own, and how many of them are actually hooked up? How many of those get used on a regular basis, and what's the one you play most without question? Why do you keep the others around, and how often do they get used?

2. What game(s) are you playing right now, and how long have you been playing them?

3. Your Tee Vee(s): What size and type (SD, HD, PhD...) of TV(s) do you game on? What's the brand, how long have you had it, and why do you like to game on it? Do you keep your ketchup in the fridge or in the cupboard?

4. Your Dolbeez: Do you have a surround sound system, or are the TV's speakers just fine for you? Do you game with headphones? Is there a certain volume level that you just *need* to play at?

5. The Games Themselves: Where do you keep your games, and how do you have them organized? Is it okay to leave a stack of "I'll put it away eventually" discs sitting on or near the system, or is that a big no-no?

6. The Accessories: Where do you keep your spare controllers? Do you have a charging station for any of them, or do you go through batteries like a rainforest-burning hippy? What about the plastic guitars, drums, bagpipes, etc.? We want to know this stuff!

Optional, but highly recommended (we'll give you swag!):

Send us pictures or a little video of your gaming setup! Take a shot of how your systems are arranged, how you like to store your thousands of cartridges and disc cases, your Gaming Throne if you have one. This show is all about getting personal, so we want to see how you really game. Email your pictures to insidetheconsole@gmail.com.

Alright, I'm done, unless you can come up with something of your own to add. Have a great week, get your game on, and we'll see you Sunday(ish).

-Phil

Gaming Black Market - Episode #132

2009-03-18T19:21:00.001-05:00

Has anyone else ever dealt with someone who says they aren’t doing something wrong, but you know they are? Now add to that the thought that this person is upset because they feel they are being wronged by someone else who is also doing something wrong. Welcome to my world.

I am in a unique position to deal with the worst of the worst and the best of the best when it comes to the internet. One special group of people are those dealing on the video game black market. Whether it is stolen goods, passwords and keys that shouldn’t be sold, or entire (fake) people. These people often know what they are doing is wrong, but don’t really care.

Most of us have either dealt with or used this market at one point in time. Whether “power leveling” or buying what might be a stolen game, we are passive supporters of this dark industry. Some of us who prefer a purer environment are directly affected by the quality of the experience from those who are cheating.

So in true ITC fashion we will deal with this with dry humor and your input! Please support our crusade by answering the questions below!

1. So first and foremost, and we aren’t cops, so… have you ever knowingly purchased from the black market?
2. How about sold anything or directly profited from activities of your own on the black market?
3. Does this black market degrade the quality of the gaming experience for you?
4. What sort of crackdowns should take place against these individuals?
5. Any personal experiences of being cracked down on?
6. Where does DRM fit in to avoiding this black market?

So yeah. Dry humor. And power levelers suck.

Can’t wait to hear some great responses from our devoted fan base. You guys are great! (See, dry humor!)

-J

Right on Time

2009-03-10T14:28:00.001-05:00

Cheap Ass Gamer on Toys R Us vs. Amazon vs. GameStop.

How fitting.

-Phil

Episode #131 - The Used Game Market (March 8th)

2009-03-02T23:12:00.004-06:00

As of this episode we'll be releasing both parts of the show at the same time, to make things easier on you guys. We had this suggestion a while back from one of our listeners, and it seems to be the right thing to do to avoid confusion. So starting with this show, you'll be seeing parts one and two of each episode in your iTunes feed at the same time. Be sure you download missing parts in case iTunes skips one. If you catch anything weird happening, be sure to shoot us an email or post a comment to let us know so we can take care of it. The video will change to be an entire episode at a time, with only a brief musical intermission in between halves. Look for it here as usual.

Now, onto the homework. For Episode #131, we'll be talking about the used game market, how you feel about it, how it affects your purchase or trade-ins, etc. As usual, we've got a lineup of questions ready for the taking, so have at 'em!

1. Of your current (physical) gaming collection, what percentage of the games that you own were purchased used and what percentage were purchased new?

2. When a new game comes out that you're interested in buying, do you just plan on buying it new or will you wait for it to show up used somewhere and save yourself some money?

3. What about a game that's been out for a while but is still readily available on store shelves - where do you go to purchase it and why?

4. When looking for older titles that you can't find new, where is your preferred place to shop? We all know of EB/GameStop, but what about eBay, Amazon, local mom-n-pop joints, etc.? Why is this your preference?

5. When you decide you no longer want a game that you own, what is your first choice when deciding what to do with it and why?

6. We all have our own opinions about the "evil" conglomerate that is EB/GameStop, so tell us yours. Do you think that they have shady practices and don't truly give "power to the players"? Do you wish that they had some real competition in the market? Or, is there already enough competition from smaller, more local chains that things are balanced as it is?

Thanks for your comments! We're looking forward to seeing what you guys have to say for this episode.

-Phil

Upcoming Episode #130 - I'm Finished

2009-02-17T11:07:00.003-06:00

Hey everybody, I hope you all like the slightly-modified look of the website. You might notice there's that little whatchamacallit front-and-center there. Thanks to a few random chances and a lot of trial and error, we're now hosting our own videos. So whenever you want to see what's going on inside Studio Five, all you need to do is check it out right here.

Anyhoo, onto the topic at hand - Episode #130. We'll be talking about what happens after we finish our games, which will lead into two other topics both slated for upcoming episodes: Your Gaming Collections and the Used Game Market. Take a minute to answer these fine questions regarding your gaming habits to help us prep for #130.

All of the questions assume we're not talking about any game you've owned for less than about three months. Newish games don't really apply.

1. Last episode we found out people average about one game purchase every month or two. We even found out that some of our listeners have upwards of 200+ games on their shelves. Our question is, out of all the games you own (digital or physical), how many have you actually played to completion?

2. That leaves the rest of your collection as games you haven't finished. Of these, pick a few and tell us how far you played each one and what stopped you from playing them.

3. Do you still own games that you played less than half-way through? How about less than 25% completion? What percentage of your collection would these games make up, and why do you still have them?

4. When you're done with a game, regardless if you "finished" it or not, are you inclined to sell it or trade it in to a used game store like GameStop, or would you rather keep it on your shelf? Why?

5. When you've played a game to completion, and you make a conscious decision to keep it around, what's your reason for doing so as opposed to selling it? Do you plan on playing the game again because you really enjoyed it, and if so, how often do you actually go back and play one?

Rainy Day Wallpaper

2009-02-13T11:21:00.004-06:00

So it's not really rainy, I'd say it's definitely snowy, but it feels like one of those days. Slow at work, not much going on. A friend of mine at the office sent me a link to some fantastic artistic desktop wallpaper recreations of memorable gaming moments.

Here's a link to download the rest of them. There's eleven all together, from several different franchises. I'm totally going with Samus, no doubt.

-Phil

Too much?

2009-02-11T00:41:00.002-06:00

First off I just noticed that we are over 100 posts. Woo... I guess that is exciting.

I realized this past weekend between trips to the restroom, which might have been funny had I tried to be on the show this time, that I may have too many options. It is a weird conundrum to be sure. I am thrilled to have my consoles, but find difficulty in determining what to play. Instead of getting in some game time between trips to the Porcelain Gods I found myself more prone to just watching TV. I wanted to play. I had choices. In the end though I couldn't decide. Do I play Fable II? Or do I dive further into Fallout 3? Do I continue my jaunt through FFX or do I move on to FFXII? Do I need more roman numerals or should we just move on to good old normal numbers? It's kind of weird, but I just find myself not playing out of too much choice as opposed to when I had less to choose from.

So on a news front:

New lawsuit accusing Nintendo of contributing to obesity - So if this one goes class action I'm COMPLETELY in on it.

Activision-Blizzard in, Blizzard Out? - This one makes no sense. Are you one company or not? Bi-polar much?

In honor of Valentine's Day, my Anniversary, and Drew's wifes B-Day - #1 says it all. Although I'm pretty sure Fil didn't understand until WAY past puberty.

Gotta get in a cheap shot every now and then. Especially when I miss a show. =o)

-J

It's Coming

2009-02-03T09:04:00.003-06:00

So I thought I had a copy of Episode #128 Part Two on a USB drive, but apparently I was mistaken. I do have the show, at home, on a Time Machine backup of my former MacBook. My new lappy is supposed to get here tomorrow, and when it does, one of the first things I'll be doing after restoring from said backup is to upload the podcast, I promise.

Just a quick thank-you to all of you who have emailed or commented your responses for our upcoming show, Digital Media vs. Physical Media. If you haven't, please take a minute to answer the questions on the post just prior to this one.

Speaking of posts, this is the 100th post on this ITC blog. Way to go us!

-Phil

99 Bottles The Mole on the Wall

2009-02-02T08:59:00.002-06:00

You've probably all read the Murphy post below, so this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, but the second half of our current show, #128, will be just a little late. Hopefully it'll be up Monday night, but you never do know what's going to happen around here.

I finally beat Metroid Fusion over the weekend, and man, what an awesome game. Yes John, even on my itty-bitty screen, GBA games can still be awesome, and this one definitely is. Beating this game got me thinking though. I believe on IMDb, you can keep a running list of movies that you've seen. Does anybody know if there is a similar website for games that you've beaten? I've always wanted to go back and see a list of all those old SNES and N64 games that I've actually finished, y'know? If anybody knows of anything like this, leave us a shout in the comments, I'd love to know about it.

Now, for next week's Episode #129, we're going to be talking about physical media vs. digital media. In today's world, it's becoming more and more commonplace to be able to download games directly from the 'net instead of buying a disc at a store. Certainly this has advantages; less environmental impact, less junk around the house, the ability to patch games, the list goes on and on. But should physical media disappear completely? What are the advantages of still providing a physical game disc and a physical box?

Here's some specific questions for you to ponder on. Shout out in the comments.

1. How often do you buy a new game?
2. Looking at your current gaming collection, what percentage is physical media and what percentage is digital media?
3. If given the choice, is there one option you'd choose over the other 100% of the time? If so, why this decision?
4. What are your favorite and least-favorite things about physical media?
5. What are your favorite and least-favorite things about digital media?

And finally, 729445729794065.

-Phil

Hello Muprhyness...

2009-01-28T16:19:00.003-06:00

Man, I feel like I just did a post not that long ago about Murphy's Law affecting Inside The Console... weird, eh? Well, he's at it again, only this time I'm pretty sure he's actually out to get us. So there's a couple of things going on, and I just want you guys to be aware so that you don't think we're abandoning you or anything. Hey, we've been through a *lot* worse in the past.

Firstly, our video process is pretty streamlined as far as filming and creating the videos goes, and I'm happy about that. Unfortunately, as you may have heard, Google Video is going the way of the Dodo, and will no longer be accepting uploads before too long. YouTube still imposes a ten minute limit on uploaded videos, so that's currently not an option unless their limit is lifted.

So we're kinda stuck in limbo as far as actually hosting our videos goes. We'll be working on it, but right now that's what's going on. Also, while we're on the topic of videos, you may have noticed that there hasn't been one uploaded for a while. You can thank computer problems for that. GarageMovie or iBand was doing something dumb and causing problems with one of them, but the most recent video, 128 Part One, is all done and ready to go.

Only problem is it's sitting on my laptop which is in a repair shop. What was supposed to be a 24-hour turnaround has turned into at least a three-day waiting game. I'm selling (sold, actually) my MacBook, but before I hand it over to its new owner, I'd planned to replace the keyboard, wrist-wrest, and trackpad area. Early model white MacBooks had a severe discoloration problem that turned the wrist wrests and trackbad brown after several months of use. This entire area is apparently one part and can be replaced under warranty, so I figured it makes sense to replace that before I sell it seeing as it's still under warranty and it won't be nasty brown for the buyer.

FedEx thinks this is a bad idea. They managed to lose the one they were supposed to deliver on Monday, which got delayed until Tuesday because of an ice storm, but then was delayed into a black hole. The repair place confirmed that it's MIA and has ordered another one which they're "supposed" to see on Thursday, FedEx permitting. Once that's arrived, I can pick up my computer, get the video uploaded, wipe the machine clean and off it goes.

So that's that. Also, just to rub it in, an Ethernet cable which I ordered from Amazon over two weeks ago never showed up. This cable was going to allow me to set up The Goat (ITC's new video uploading/logo rendering computer) at a desk in our spare room instead of, y'know, on the floor in the studio. So I emailed those people yesterday and they're supposedly sending me another cable. I'd like to try and keep the blog as up-to-date as I can, but I don't like to do too much of that at work. So with my only "usable" computer at home being one sitting on the floor in a cold studio, the blog may be suffering a little bit until I can finally get my new lappy.

Stick with us, you know we aren't going anywhere.

-Phil

Dear Mario

2009-01-22T21:56:00.003-06:00

As promised on the last show, here is the
letter that Evan, one of our listeners, gave us permission to post from his blog. It's pretty funny, I'd say. If you have any comments on it, send them to ITC. We'll make sure Evan gets them. Happy reading.

An Open Letter to My Wii.
Dear Cooper*,

It is difficult for me to write this letter, particularly under the baleful gaze of your unblinking yellow eye, but I have had some things on my mind for quite some time now, and I find that I cannot keep them bottled up any longer. Simply put, we need to Talk.

I remember when I finally brought you home after several months of calling Best Buy and walking down there every day, right when they opened, for about two months. I harassed the employees with my endless questions. "When do you think you'll get some more in?" I would ask, knowing full well those poor sons of bitches had been hearing that same question, day after day, for the better part of a year. But I didn't care, because even though I have worked in retail before, and know full well how annoying that shit is, I did it anyway.

For you.

I'm not mad about that, because while I am deeply ashamed of my behavior, it was my choice. I don't expect you to make that up to me, especially because once I actually got you home and started up Wii Sports, I knew our time together would be special. For starters, I've never gamed standing up. It was weird, but I was ready to try it. Then, when you asked me to make sure to leave enough room so that I wouldn't hit any objects or people while playing, I thought, "You know what? I like where this is going."

We went for several hours, Cooper, and I was actually sore the next day. That's never happened to me before.

We went on like this for about six months, and while I know looking back that I couldn't have actually been happy, I tried to convince myself that I was. In the meantime, more software was released, but I wasn't interested in most of it. I was waiting for some exclusive content, a Metroid or a Mario, or, hell, even a new F-Zero, but all you had to offer were a bunch of minigame collections and party games.

"Party games?" I said. "Is that what they think of me?"

Don't you understand, Cooper? I'm a gamer because I have trouble making friends, let alone maintaining relationships long enough to have people over for Mario Party. You seem to partly get this, considering your online capabilities, but in other areas you seem to woefully underestimate my needs. Why, for example, would I want to cook virtual food with you, when I could make some real food in my kitchen, and then eat it? And why should I play Resident Evil 4 with you, when I already have it for your predecessor?

Oh.

I didn't mean to bring it up here, but, yes...I've had Nintendo consoles before. You'd like them; they're a lot like you. They have incredibly good first-party content and a spotty relationship with third-party developers. But you never forget your first. And my first was a Nintendo. Don't worry about the APF TV Fun...it didn't count. I was young and stupid then, and all it had was four versions of Pong. I forgot all about it once I got an NES.

And I guess that leads me to my next question...why aren't you more like your relatives? Are you rebelling, or what? They were all about gameplay and fun, but you seem more interested in making me swing my arms around, or perform gestures with your remote which would make my grandmother faint if she saw me doing them. Why the obsession with making me do wanking motions? SNES never made me do wanking motions. I think, deep down, you enjoy making me look foolish.

This wouldn't bother me if I believed that despite all that, you really care what I think about you. But I see you out there, bowing and scraping for the favors of soccer moms and people with pensions, and I don't see where I fit into your future. It's like you have all these new friends, and suddenly you don't need me anymore. Our families have sat together many times over the past twenty years, and I guess those memories mean more to me than they do to you.

What I'm saying is that I think our relationship has been lopsided for a while, ever since you became the top-selling console. Sure, we had a lot of fun with Metroid Prime 3, Super Mario Galaxy, and Geometry Wars. But your software selection in stores is increasingly cluttered with titles which hold absolutely no interest for me, or for anyone I know. And still, you keep dangling things in front of me. "Mario Kart is coming!" people will shout, or, "Super Smash Bros. Brawl is fucking awesome!" But I'm not interested in those games...they remind me too much of N64.

"What about No More Heroes?" my friends continue. "It's really good. You should borrow it." And I suppose I could, Cooper, and I think I'd enjoy it, but what happens after I finish it? That's right...it will be back to the months of emptiness, waiting for them to bring back Pikmin or release Baseball Simulator 2000 on the Virtual Console.

We both know that's no basis for a relationship.

So I guess what I'm saying is that we need to take a break. I'll be spending a lot of time with the 360; I thought it was best that you hear it from me first. Maybe someday we'll hang out again.

But you've got a lot of growing up to do before then.

Sincerely,

Evan

*Cooper is the "nickname" I gave to the console during the setup process. This is the first opportunity I have had to use this purely cosmetic and nonsensical appellation.

Again, good stuff. Make sure you listen to the next show, where we'll talk about the concept of "Life" in games. Until then.

SHOCK
THE
WORLD!

Drew

Yes, Drew, there is a Santa Claus

2009-01-17T22:23:00.002-06:00

So I was really hopeful this Christmas. I asked for an XBox 360. I told my wife that I wanted a 360 and that I wanted games for it, and if that’s all I got, well, SWEET, I got a 360. I know my wife; she would go through hell or high water to find something I want as bad as I wanted this. (Remind me to tell you the story of how she conspired with all the managers at the Toy Juggernaut where I work, my mother, and her mother to get me my Wii the first year they were out.) I’ve been asking for this thing for nearly two years with nothing to show for it. Two anniversaries have come and gone; no XBox. Birthdays come and gone with no 360. And here we were at another Christmas and I was waiting patiently, knowing I would get my 360.
Finally, Christmas Day arrived. Mind you, I knew we didn’t have a ton of money for Christmas this year. Hell, no one really did. But I knew my lovely wife, and she would come through. What did I get? Slippers. FUCKING SLIPPERS! (Comfy slippers, mind you, but still.) Well, that’s not all, I also got underwear. “What?” I though, “that’s it?” “We’ll get more for Christmas,” she told me, “We’ll just wait for your next check.”
“Awesome,” I think to myself, “she’s just waiting for an extra little bit of cash, I knew she’d come through.” About a week later, we go shopping again. I spend the entire day expecting her to sneak away for a while, or to suddenly be extremely secretive. Well, that doesn’t happen. So I began yet another new year with no XBox 360.
Frustrated, I declare that I will get a 360 with our tax returns, as soon as we take care of a few other bills. Wait, that was the plan last year, and obviously, we know haw that worked out. So, I had resigned myself to wait at least 6 more months for my ever elusive 360. I moved on. I found games to play for my Wii and for my PS2. And I was content.
All the while, Christmas with my in-laws had been pushed back a couple of times. Schedules didn’t align, emergencies came up, weather was bad, whatever. You name it, it probably happened to push back celebrating the holidays with my in-laws. Finally, we all get together (well, almost, but that’s another story). As we sit down to open presents, my Mother-in-law says “There’s one big box we’ll save for the end.” This is something I don’t think much about, as I am helping Mini-me unwrap his third mountain of Christmas presents (by the way, Clip-Os are awesome!). As we unwrap, I get a copy of Harry Potter book 6 from my MIA sister-in-law (btw, thanks Chel, that round out the collection) and a beard and moustache trimmer from my mother and father-in-law, which I had needed, anyway. As I’m playing with Lil’ Drew, I hear, “Oh year, there’s one more!” I look up and my wife is handing me a box wrapped in red and white striped paper. As I take it, I think, “This is kinda heavy. About as heavy as a. . . “ Now I know how heavy a 360 box is. I mean I sell them for a living (well, that and other stuff). I set the box down and, before I can move, Lil’ Drew is on it, reaching for more paper to tear. He grabs one spot, I grab another, and as we pull, the first thing I see is “XBox 360 wireless controller included. I freeze, absolutely in shock. This does not deter my little padwan, for he continues to tear at paper like it's going out of style. As my awe subsides, I’m almost frantic, ripping of the remaining paper to reveal an XBox 360 Arcade, with Sonic Superstars included.
As it turns out, nearly everyone knew this was happening, including my two co conspiring co-hosts and their wives. I didn’t get any games for Christmas, but I went out and picked up Mass Effect for $20 (really, it’s already sold that much?). I also don’t have a hard drive yet, but that’s coming. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers. On top of which, whatever, I got my XBox. If anyone ever tells you there is no Santa Clause, tell them I said to kiss your ass and mine, too. He may show up late on occasion, and he may be live in the same house, steal your clothes and actually be female, but Santa exists, and this year, he delivered.

SHOCK
THE
WORLD!

Drew

New Scavenger Hunt

2009-01-13T17:51:00.005-06:00

I've mentioned it on one or two episodes recently, but I've either been too busy (or lazy) to get the darn thing posted. So here, without further adieu, is my latest and greatest scavenger hunt:

1. Find Nintendo's only system that required all software to have an option to automatically pause the game every 15 to 30 minutes.

2. On Wikipedia's list of games for this system, find the only game not released in Japan that is also not based on a movie.

3. Find the name of a gaming company that fits the following criteria: The second letter of the company's name is the only vowel to appear two times in the answer to step #2, and the fourth letter of the company's name is the only vowel that does not appear in the answer to step #2.

4. Find the home console that this company released in the same year that the system from step #1 was released.

5. Two games for this system (each is part of a series) have titles that contain the predominant word in Dennis Rodman's nickname. Find the one of these two games that is a sequel.

6. There is a sidekick in this game who, according to Wikipedia, communicates with only two types of noises. Find these noises.

7. Taking all of the vowels from these two noises, in order, will give you the symbol for an element on the Periodic Table. Find the atomic number of this element.

8. There was another home console released in the same year used in step #4. On Wikipedia's list of games for this system, find the game who's external link number (looks like "[100]" ) is the atomic number from step #7 plus one. Given the example, this would be link [101].

9. On GameSpot's list of Player Reviews for this game, find the username of the person who submitted the oldest review that also references the unused series of games from step #5. Several Player Reviews reference this series of games, so be sure to find the username of the person who submitted the oldest one.

10. This username contains one of the two vowels not yet used on this scavenger hunt. Determine this vowel, and convert it to it's alphabetical placement value. A = 1, B = 2, etc. Do this for every occurence of the vowel in the username, and total it all up.

11. Take the only vowel not yet used in this scavenger hunt, and convert it to a number like in step #10. Add this value to the total you got after completing step #10.

12. You need two numbers for this step. One will be one of the single digits from step #11's answer. If the total is 87, this number would be either 8 or 7. Call this number X. The other will be the total you get when you add up all the single digits in step #11's answer, which will end up being a single digit answer. An example would be if the total was 26, this number would be 2 + 6, = 8. Call this number Y.

13. Find the only videogame system ever released whose name contains both X and Y.

14. On this console, using Wikipedia's list of its games as your guide, find the (Y-1)th game to come out in the Xth month in the year ( ( Y / X ) * ( 10 ^ X ) ) + Y in North America.

15. This game has several major cities that can be visited, but only one of these cities has a vowel that occurs back-to-back in its name. If the city were named Woot, that would fit the bill. Find this city.

16. Find the character who lives in this city whose first and last names both begin with the same vowel.

17. On IGN's PS3 reviews, find the game whose score is the same percentage as the character's health from the previous step, and whose last letter in the name is the same as the vowel from the previous step. If the character's health were 50, you'd be looking for a review score of 50% or 5.0, and whose last letter in the name of the game is the same as the vowel from the previous step.

18. Email to us the Closing Comments section of the review.

Drew and the Amazing Technicolor Wii Game

2009-01-13T11:53:00.001-06:00

Many things I enjoy I tend to come across randomly. A good percentage of the books in my collection are ones that I happened to like the cover. Some of my CDs are from artist that I randomly heard while channel surfing the radio. Games are the same way. This is exactly the case with De Blob.
If you haven’t heard of it, I’ll give you a quick rundown without spoiling it. Basically, you are De Blob, a member of the Color Underground, and your job is to restore color to the world and free the people enslaved by the evil Inkt Corp. You do so by painting buildings, trees, people, etc. different colors, which you can mix and match throughout the levels.
When I first saw this game, I thought “this looks kind of cool; I think I’ll try it.” And I was right; it was a pretty good game. As I played, though, I began to see more into it. I realized that this game does what I call tricking you into learning. Let me explain.
Many people, kids and adults alike, are resistant to learning things when they don’t have to. Ok, maybe not everyone I hang out with, but I’ve met my fair share, and I’m sure you have, too. Tricking you into learning is when you do something you enjoy, and, because of the nature of that item, you learn stuff. I experienced this a lot when I was younger. I used to watch nature shows because I enjoyed watching the animals. Now I know that hippos only eat plants, but they will kill a man if they get too close, and that penguins mate for life. But I digress. . .
The things De Blob teaches are far simpler: colors. The only colors that are available are red, yellow, and blue. There are many things you would have to paint those colors. However, there are also things that have to be painted green, purple, orange, or brown, and those you won’t find just laying around. This is when you mix colors. Sure, the tutorial will tell you in the beginning that yellow and blue make green (or something like that), but you’ve got to remember that late into the game when you’ve had to redo a level a couple of times because you show up in a spot that has to be green when you are purple and you’ve got about 60 seconds to hunt down the right color combo and have enough color points to finish your mission. It’s pretty cool, and down right addictive.
There is also an appreciation for music in this game. You can have jazz, salsa, hip-hop, or a combination of those and others playing in the background. There was more that one occasion when Lil’ Drew decided to dance to the music in daddy’s game. Not only was the music part cool, but my kid is cute when he dances. (Get off my back, I can be a proud poppa if I want.)
Bottom line, De Blob is a cool game. If you’re looking for a new game, looking for something for your kid/ nephew/ cousin/ self to maybe learn a thing or two while you play, or if you just want an excuse to use your Wii, pick up De Blob and paint yourself silly. Until next time.

SHOCK
THE
WORLD!

Drew

Hello, Murphy

2009-01-12T20:54:00.000-06:00

Pretty sure Murphy's Law is in full effect this week. Not only did we get some sort of static on our microphones that we can't seem to get rid of, but our first run at #127 crapped out on us after three minutes. After that, it seemed that all went well, until I tried to export our podcast to iTunes with the new chapters we've been using. Of course, that didn't work either.

So every time I tried to export the podcast with the chapter markers intact, which should (in theory) allow you to skip past the drinking game and candle-lighting if you so choose, GarageBand would totally crap out on me. Completely lock up. So ultimately I ended up using a regular ol' MP3 file like we used to.

The good news is that we successfully recorded the first and second halves of #127, so they're ready to go. This gives me two weeks to iron out the kinks before our next taping. Also, The Goat, which is the name of my new computer, is up and running. So look for some fancy new intro video animations coming in the next several weeks. It should let us upload our video files without a problem too, so cross your fingers on that.

Alright, I'm off to go fight SA-X. See y'all later.

-Phil